Posts Tagged ‘writing workshop’

Just Write: The Magic of Quiet.

My life is full of noise. Full of pushes and pulls. Of, “Mommy, UP”s, of “Hey, could you help me with this?”s and of “What should we have for dinner?”s.

It’s full of background noise, too. The laughter of coworkers. The sing songy words of a playing child. The scritch scratches of a drawing husband.

My life is full. And that is a very, very good thing. 

But every once in a while, after days filled with deadlines, evenings filled with tantrums, and nights filled with animals crying plaintively while plopping on top of kidneys, it all becomes too much.

My head starts aching. My temper starts snapping.  Sometimes, I even end up with a nasty toothache that has me calling the dentist, only to realize that it’s not a cavity…just the physical manifestation of a constantly clenched jaw.

That’s when I know I need a little quiet.

A little time to listen to the birds sing. To watch the flowers blow in the wind. To write in the silence of my own mind.

my garden, as seen from over the top of my computer

That’s when I fire off an email to my working world and let them know that they won’t be seeing me that day. That I’ll be working hard, but invisible to them.

That’s when I shuttle my kid off to school, then turn the car around and head Home. To the silence.

Then I spend my day traveling from a comfy spot on my couch, to my favorite chair in the sun, to a rickety old chair at the kitchen table.

I write hard. Furiously. At a pace I never quite manage at the office.

I take breaks to pet furry heads, sniff flowers, and walk barefoot in the grass.

And as I watch the clock tick down, it’s bittersweet.

My life is noisy and full and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

But sometimes? I just need a little quiet.

When Reality and New Mommyhood Collide.

So you have a new baby. You have a new baby and you’re thrilled. And exhausted. And head over heels in love. And exhausted. And giddy with joy.  And exhausted.

But mostly you’re just determined to be the very best mommy you can be. Come hell or high water, coffee-less mornings or gassy, vomiting babies, you. Will. Rock. This.

That’s great.  Really, it is.

tori in the jungle

Welcome to the jungle…err, Motherhood.

But you know what? There are going to be times when you feel like you don’t rock. Moments when you wonder what the hell you were thinking when you threw away those birth control pills. Days when you’re pretty sure that you suck at being a mom.

You might not be as wild about breastfeeding as you think you should be.

You might not be as patient as you think you should be.

Your house might be messier than you think it should be.

Your life might be way less organized than you thought it would be.

You might feel more conflicted about your about your decision to work or stay at home than you thought you would be.

You might cry. Or yell. Or completely lose your mind.

You might let your daughter watch an episode of Sesame Street so you can zone out for a little bit. Or force your son cry it out when you just can’t take it anymore.

And that might feel unforgivable.

But you know what? It’s okay. All of it. Because here’s the secret: you don’t have to be perfect.

Or even close. You just don’t.

Because, and here’s the other secret—no one is. No one’s perfect. And anyone who tries to tell you she is? Has her head so far up her butt she doesn’t know what the sun looks like anymore.

So throw out those parenting books. Lower your expectations. And just relax.

You can do this. You will do this. It won’t always be fun, but it will be worth it. I promise.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Finding Your Blogging Tribe.

women laughing

Have you found your tribe?*

Just as in real life, people (and their blogs) come and go in the blogging world. Women you consider to be good friends today might disappear into the ether tomorrow.

And, since it’s difficult to judge tone and intent from a few flat lines of text, it’s easy to inadvertently offend someone—sometimes to the point where she no longer wants to associate with you (and your blog).

That abandonment can hurt. It can make you wonder what you did wrong—and why no one seems to like you anymore.

So, the problem becomes, how do you find your tribe? How do you find those women who think like you do and write about the same things as you do? Who laugh at the same jokes and cry the same tears?

How do you find the friends who will always have your back—in good times and in bad?

Sometimes you make a connection through a shared experience (like a pregnancy) and form a rock-solid bond.

Sometimes you make a connection through sheer persistence—commenting and tweeting until the person on the other end can’t help but notice.

And sometimes? Sometimes it’s just luck. You stumble on a blog, start reading, and before long find yourself saying, “me too! Me too!” Then, when she visits yours, she finds herself saying, “oh, I know. That’s so true!” And a friendship is born.

But even so, it’s hard to hang on to those people. Everyone’s busy, and when caught up in work,  life, and keeping your own blog up and running, it’s hard to give your blogging peeps the love they deserve.

I think that’s where Triberr comes in. I’m just getting started with it, but from what I can tell, it’s designed to make supporting your best blogging peeps effortless.

How it works is this:

  1. Someone sends you an invitation to join their tribe (membership is by invitation only).
  2. If you accept, you not only get to be in that tribe, you also get three tribes of your own to populate as you wish.
  3. Everyone within a certain tribe is networked together, so every time you tweet a post, they automatically tweet it out too.
  4. Suddenly your posts are seen by thousands of people you’ve never met, but your tribe mates have—increasing your chances of not only getting seen, but also of finding new friends—and making more of those lasting connections.

There’s a lot more to Triberr than that, but that’s the basic premise.

So even if you’re overwhelmed by life and can’t spend the time you should, your friends are there for you—keeping your blog strong and your traffic high (and you’re there to do the same for them).

And that? Is pure awesomeness in my book.

What do you think about Triberr? Have you joined yet? Do you want to be part of my tribe? Let me know if you do—I have lots of invitations to give out!

Photo courtesy of Sean Dreilinger.

Mama’s Losin’ It

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