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When Reality and New Mommyhood Collide.

by Amber on September 15, 2011

So you have a new baby. You have a new baby and you’re thrilled. And exhausted. And head over heels in love. And exhausted. And giddy with joy.  And exhausted.

But mostly you’re just determined to be the very best mommy you can be. Come hell or high water, coffee-less mornings or gassy, vomiting babies, you. Will. Rock. This.

That’s great.  Really, it is.

tori in the jungle

Welcome to the jungle...err, Motherhood.

But you know what? There are going to be times when you feel like you don’t rock. Moments when you wonder what the hell you were thinking when you threw away those birth control pills. Days when you’re pretty sure that you suck at being a mom.

You might not be as wild about breastfeeding as you think you should be.

You might not be as patient as you think you should be.

Your house might be messier than you think it should be.

Your life might be way less organized than you thought it would be.

You might feel more conflicted about your about your decision to work or stay at home than you thought you would be.

You might cry. Or yell. Or completely lose your mind.

You might let your daughter watch an episode of Sesame Street so you can zone out for a little bit. Or force your son cry it out when you just can’t take it anymore.

And that might feel unforgivable.

But you know what? It’s okay. All of it. Because here’s the secret: you don’t have to be perfect.

Or even close. You just don’t.

Because, and here’s the other secret—no one is. No one’s perfect. And anyone who tries to tell you she is? Has her head so far up her butt she doesn’t know what the sun looks like anymore.

So throw out those parenting books. Lower your expectations. And just relax.

You can do this. You will do this. It won’t always be fun, but it will be worth it. I promise.

Mama’s Losin’ It

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Finding Your Blogging Tribe.

by Amber on June 30, 2011

women laughing

Have you found your tribe?*

Just as in real life, people (and their blogs) come and go in the blogging world. Women you consider to be good friends today might disappear into the ether tomorrow.

And, since it’s difficult to judge tone and intent from a few flat lines of text, it’s easy to inadvertently offend someone—sometimes to the point where she no longer wants to associate with you (and your blog).

That abandonment can hurt. It can make you wonder what you did wrong—and why no one seems to like you anymore.

So, the problem becomes, how do you find your tribe? How do you find those women who think like you do and write about the same things as you do? Who laugh at the same jokes and cry the same tears?

How do you find the friends who will always have your back—in good times and in bad?

Sometimes you make a connection through a shared experience (like a pregnancy) and form a rock-solid bond.

Sometimes you make a connection through sheer persistence—commenting and tweeting until the person on the other end can’t help but notice.

And sometimes? Sometimes it’s just luck. You stumble on a blog, start reading, and before long find yourself saying, “me too! Me too!” Then, when she visits yours, she finds herself saying, “oh, I know. That’s so true!” And a friendship is born.

But even so, it’s hard to hang on to those people. Everyone’s busy, and when caught up in work,  life, and keeping your own blog up and running, it’s hard to give your blogging peeps the love they deserve.

I think that’s where Triberr comes in. I’m just getting started with it, but from what I can tell, it’s designed to make supporting your best blogging peeps effortless.

How it works is this:

  1. Someone sends you an invitation to join their tribe (membership is by invitation only).
  2. If you accept, you not only get to be in that tribe, you also get three tribes of your own to populate as you wish.
  3. Everyone within a certain tribe is networked together, so every time you tweet a post, they automatically tweet it out too.
  4. Suddenly your posts are seen by thousands of people you’ve never met, but your tribe mates have—increasing your chances of not only getting seen, but also of finding new friends—and making more of those lasting connections.

There’s a lot more to Triberr than that, but that’s the basic premise.

So even if you’re overwhelmed by life and can’t spend the time you should, your friends are there for you—keeping your blog strong and your traffic high (and you’re there to do the same for them).

And that? Is pure awesomeness in my book.

What do you think about Triberr? Have you joined yet? Do you want to be part of my tribe? Let me know if you do—I have lots of invitations to give out!

Photo courtesy of Sean Dreilinger.

Mama’s Losin’ It

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Confession Time.

November 11, 2010
Mama

I confess… To holding back the best candy on Halloween so I have plenty of Reese’s products to get me through the holiday season. To feeding my daughter chicken nuggets. At least twice a week. And no, they’re not organic. To getting angry at the scale for not showing me a loss—even when I haven’t [...]

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