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Sad Little Girls.

by Amber on April 29, 2012

“Mommy, I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.”

“Why not, sweetie? You love school.”

“No I don’t. I don’t like school. I don’t like it!”

“Why don’t you like school?”

“Because my friends are all scared of me.”

This last was said with a quivering lip, eyes full of unshed tears.

And it broke my heart.

It’s true. Her friends are scared of her. She’s been so unbelievably naughty that no one knows when she’s going to lash out. So they, I guess, don’t want to play with her.

My poor little three-year-old daughter. Feeling alienated, friendless and alone.

Her own doing? Sure. But she doesn’t understand that. I don’t think she even knows why she lashes out.

I’ve got lots of guesses. Maybe she was just too tired. Maybe she was hurting – her ears, her teeth, who knows. Maybe she just wanted more attention.

But I don’t have the answers. And she can’t give me any.

So I put her to bed early. Give her tylenol – just in case. And pray.

I don’t want her to be naughty. Not because of the problems it poses in my life. I can figure those out. I just don’t want her to be hurt. Don’t want her to feel like the odd one out – the one no one likes.

I want her to be happy and carefree. I want her to putter and play and, you know, just be a kid.

I want to fix this for her.

So I read books. The latest, “Honey, I Broke the Kids,” tells me that I need to be more democratic in my parenting. That kids who lash out in one way or another are seeking to fill a need – for compassion, control…I don’t know. There are four of them.

It advocates for no punishment. Just logical consequences clearly stated at the outset.She says no timeouts, no sending the kid to her room, none of that.

But I wonder. Has that author ever been faced with a kid so angry she literally can’t hear you? Been so afraid of the next tantrum that she  spent her days walking around on eggshells, trying not to rock the boat?

Democracy doesn’t really seem to work in that situation.

Sure, she’s hurting. I’m hurting. We’re all hurting.

I just hope it all comes to an end soon.

 

 

 

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5 Reasons I’d Rather Have a Funny Man.

by Amber on April 23, 2012

When I started my new job last week, I discovered that the former occupant of my desk had a thing for Ryan Gosling. A big thing (she had a pic of him taped to her computer).

So, of course, the conversation in my office somewhat quickly turned to celebrity crushes – the more gorgeous the specimen, the better.

But here’s the thing. I couldn’t think of any pretty men I’m particularly tempted by. At least not anymore.

I’ll admit that for many, many years, I thought Jon Bon Jovi was the most delicious thing since chocolate fudge brownies (shut up. Nobody ever said it was a dignified crush).

But these days? I’m not all that interested in the pretty faces of the world. I’d much rather have me a funny man.

Which is good, because that’s what I’ve got. A funny man. In fact, if it wasn’t for his ability to see the humorous side of things, he’d most likely have gone running many, many moons ago.

So here, for your reading pleasure, are 5 reasons a funny man is always better than a pretty one.

1. You’ll never have to worry about him spending more time in the bathroom than you (unless he’s pooping). I’m guessing it takes a good long while for Brad Pitt to get those long blonde locks perfectly tousled. But since my beauty routine has been shortened to 10 speed-applying minutes, there’s no way I’d have patience for that.

2. You get to be the only one worrying about the size of your butt. Along with those perfect hair follicles, your typical male celeb has a perfectly proportioned bod. But, since men are gravity’s victims just as much as women are, there’s no way that happens without a good deal of agonizing. Yuck.

3. You can’t keep a good sulk going because your comedian knows how to make you laugh – even when you don’t want to. A pretty one would probably just try to out-sulk you.

4. Your funny guy knows when to apply humor – and when nothing but ice cream will do. Do you think Tom Cruise ever comes home with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s when he knows Katie’s had a bad day? I doubt it. Funny men are (usually) also sweet men, and therefore know that chocolate is often the way to a woman’s heart.

5. You laugh every day – and everyone knows that laughter makes you live longer. Well, maybe not, but it will certainly make the days you live a whole lot happier. A gorgeous guy, on the other hand, will most likely just break your heart.

So, yeah. You can keep your Brad Pitts and Ryan Goslings. I’d rather giggle my life away than goggle any day.

How ’bout you?

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The Myth of the Grown Up

April 12, 2012

“Mommy, I want to be just like you when I growed up. Can I be big like you?” “Well, someday you’ll be big,” I answer. “You’ll be all grown up and instead of going to school, you’ll go to work, just like mommy.” “I want to be big now! Can I grow up now, Mommy?” [...]

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Just Write: Sprigs of Hope.

March 19, 2012
The first daffodils

There is dirt under my nails as I type this. Not because I haven’t scrubbed them. I have. But because I spent my weekend down on my hands and knees in the dirt. And I was happy to be there. As the clouds floated across a fresh blue sky, I started the yearly task of [...]

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Just Write: The Ordinary Edition.

February 21, 2012

When your life is full of things you want to remember, how do you pick just one thing to write about—one moment to focus on? My brain is bursting with little blasts of color. Tiny pockets of emotion that I hope don’t get swallowed up by time. There’s the image of my daughter holding on [...]

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Wordless Wednesday: My, What Big Teeth You Have…

February 15, 2012
Tori looks like a tasty treat

On a recent trip to the children’s museum… Tori discovered a dinosaur. It was love at first sight.

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