From the category archives:

random rantings

Saving Daylight

Screw you, Daylight Savings Time (Photo credit: Cathdew)

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (otherwise known as the Time Before Tori), I sort of enjoyed the arrival of Daylight Savings Time.

It meant that summer was on its way, full of bright evening hours that could be spent swimming, or gardening, or drinking a bottle of wine on the patio.

That was before. These days? I hate the damn thing.

Preschoolers can’t tell time. And even if they could, they wouldn’t care what the clock said. Why? Because they rely on their bodies to tell them what to do. Their body clocks know when it’s dinner time, when it’s bedtime and when it’s time to get up.

So when we arbitrarily set the clock ahead an hour? They’re unimpressed, to say the least.

Right now, my kid is upstairs screaming for me. I have her door shut, because if I didn’t she’d be down here in my lap. In her mind, it’s only 8:3o. We should be just finishing up her stories, not ignoring her pleas.

This will last until 10 o’clock. At least.

Meanwhile, my body clock is also thrown off. I am tired, grumpy and desperately in need of a nap.

Throw in a raging case of the stomach flu (the kind that leaves you writhing on the bed wishing for death), and you have a recipe for disaster.

That my friends, is why I haven’t written anything this week. And why I don’t have anything brilliant to say right now.

In fact, you know what I want to do? I want to scream for my mommy, let her take over and go hide under the covers for a while.

Of course, she hates Daylight Savings Time too. So she’s probably just as grumpy as I am. But she would do it if she could, I’m sure.

Why? Because that’s what mommies do.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get my kid before she bashes a hole through the door with her head.

 

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How To Make Extra Wide Tap Shoes For Toddlers.

by Amber on January 15, 2012

It’s tough to find shoes for my daughter. Any shoes. In fact, there are only two brands she can really wear – Stride Rite and Crocs.

Unfortunately, neither of those brands make tap shoes.

So, after fruitlessly googling every way to say “extra wide tap shoes for toddlers” I could think of (and, being an SEO copywriter, I know a lot of ways), I decided to just close my eyes and click buy on a random pair of supposedly wide tap shoes.

A week later, when they finally arrived (I swear Amazon is punishing me for not signing up for Prime by shipping things extra slow), Tori was attempting to get them on her feet practically before she was in the door.

Do you have any idea how sad a toddler looks when she tries to put her shiny new tap shoes on her feet and they’re too tight?

Sad enough to melt Newt Gingrich’s heart (and that’s saying a lot).

I didn’t know what to do. After all, I’d already searched high and low on the Internet looking for those extra wide tap shoes. They didn’t exist.

So I did what any social media-phile would do: I asked my Facebook friends.

Turns out there is a solution. A really easy one (thank you, Elona).

Here’s how to make patent leather tap shoes wider:

How to make extra wide tap shoes for your toddler1. Stuff them with socks. And I mean really stuff them. Cram them as full as you possibly can.

2. Turn your hair dryer up to 11.

3. Run the hair dryer over your tap shoes until the material gets soft and pliable (it didn’t take long with mine), and stretch gently with your fingers.

4. Let them cool off and present them to your wide-footed toddler.

5. Prepare for shouts of excitement and click clacking joy that last until you persuade said toddler to take a bath.

That’s it. Problem solved. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get them off of her.

This post was written as kind of a PSA for anyone out there with the same problem. I hope it helps some panicky mom or dad!

 

 

 

 

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Big Advertising Budgets. Itty Bitty Minds.

November 9, 2011

Dear Dr. Pepper, VW and other small-minded advertisers: Look. I realize the economy’s bad. Spending is down. You’ve got to be inventive to boost sales. But courting men at the expense of your female consumers isn’t just stupid, it’s bad business. I’m not sure how it escaped your notice, but according to sources like Girlpower [...]

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Hypocrisy in a Parenting Magazine (or: No Wonder Women Are Neurotic).

July 20, 2011
Lessons from a Zen mommy, Parents Magazine, August 2011

It’s no secret that society surrounds women with hypocritical messages almost 24/7. “Stay skinny,” says one ad, while another whispers, “but don’t let anyone know you diet.” “Be a positive role model for your daughter. Don’t let her hear you calling yourself fat,” insists one book. Meanwhile, five others blare, “You’re fat! Stop eating! Get [...]

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Sometimes.

March 23, 2011

Once upon a time, I had a five-year plan. I knew where I wanted my career to go. What I wanted to accomplish in my personal life. I was sure it was only a matter of time until I was sitting pretty, perched up high on the ladder to success. Then life happened. These days, [...]

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Old Navy Boycott Over a Onesie? Please.

September 23, 2010
The Old Navy Onesie responsible for the boycott drama

It’s no secret that I had a hard time breastfeeding. In fact, calling it a “hard time” is pretty much the understatement of the year. Not only was I was battling PPD, but Tori hated boobs. HATED them. Which meant that the both of us spent about 90 percent of our days (and nights) crying. [...]

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