Archive of ‘Life in Girl Land’ category

Look Mom, No Hair!

Last week I asked you guys to pick my next hairstyle. And quite a few of you weighed in (thank you). But the results? Were rather ambiguous. The third option was out, but 1 and 2 were neck and neck.

So I did what any good Libra would do. I took my trusty little smartphone to my appointment, showed my hairstylist the two photos and asked her to pick.

It’s a sign of just how well she knows me that she took me seriously.  She stepped back from the mirror. Walked around me once or twice. Looked at my phone. Looked back at me. Then she smiled and said, “Alright girl, let’s do this thing.”

Next thing I knew, she’d turned on the electric clippers. And I? Silently freaked out at the sight of all my hair hitting the floor.

Here’s where we ended up:

Amber's new hairstyle.

What do you think?

My new do from the side.

That's what I call short.

It’s taking a little getting used to. But you know what? With every lock of hair that fell to the floor, I began to feel a bit more sassy. Less like a mom and more like me.

That’s the kind of change I was looking for.

An Online Shopping Experience That’ll Change Your Life.

You know what my idea of hell is? Standing in a harshly lit fitting room, bare feet freezing on a cold cement floor, trying on pair after pair after pair of jeans that don’t fit.


I am short. With even shorter legs.  Short legs that, even when skinny, are rather more substantial than is stylish. Worse, I have hips. Rather wide hips for my size. And, just to make things more complicated, my waist is on the small side (proportionately speaking).

So attempting to find jeans that fit? Is only slightly less difficult than trying to find a non-skanky Real Housewife.

Because of this, it was with much joy (and more than a little skepticism) that I discovered a little online venture called MyShape. The proprietors of this store insist that by giving them some key measurements (at least 11, but up to 23), they can fill an entire store with clothes guaranteed to fit you—including jeans.

That’s right, I said jeans.

I hemmed and I hawed. I clicked in and clicked out. And finally, I sucked it up, got out the measuring tape and jotted down the numbers (but even this activity was not without its share of mental anguish).

And when I was done? I clicked “shop for jeans” and saw that they had found more than 40 pairs that they thought would fit me.

Some were way out of my reach (as much as I like to look good, I can’t see spending more than $100 on a pair of jeans). But there were plenty of options priced for normal human budgets—including some smoking deals ($15 for DKNY jeans? Yes, please).

Still skeptical, but armed with birthday checks (and therefore shopping with someone else’s money), I chose a couple and put them in my cart.

Being me, I didn’t stop there. Before I was done, I added three more shirts and a dress to my order (after all, I have limited access to designer clothing here in BFE).

Well, last night my package arrived. And you know what? The jeans fit perfectly. Perfectly, I tell you. The waist is comfortable, the legs don’t bunch and my ass? Looks good. Really good.

I may never shop for jeans in the real world again.

I do have to send two of the three shirts back, but the dress is flat out gorgeous.  I predict my coworkers are going to get sick of seeing it, because I plan to wear it endlessly.

I can’t wait to order from them again. I might even do so tonight (after all, I have to send some things back. That means I get to spend that money again, right?).

Y’all might want to check it out. Your ass will thank you (it likes to look good too, you know). They give you 25% off your first order and free shipping each way, so there’s that.

And? If you click over there using this code? We both get a $25 store credit. Just sayin’.

Disclaimer: This is not really a review. They didn’t ask me to do it (or give me anything for doing so). But sliding those jeans on was a beautiful experience (practically a “come to Jesus” moment), so I thought I’d share.

You’re welcome.

Call Me A Convert.

For many a year, I resisted the siren call of high-tech torture devices in disguise body shapers. They, I insisted, were for only the vain and insecure. And while my body was far from perfect, I preferred to disguise its defects with well-designed clothing, not girdles.

Then I had a baby. After which, the lumps and bumps that had bothered me before became magnified by a factor of five million. But still I held out (though mostly only because funds have been too tight to splurge on such frivolities).

But, internet? I have seen the light.

While I was at BlogHer (that tiny little conference one or two people were talking about a few weeks ago), I spent some time in the Expo Hall (i.e. 30,000 square feet filled with free stuff). And in the Expo Hall was a booth hawking Assets – Spanx for the Target set. The lady was nice, so I spent some time chatting with her, and got talked into taking something called a “Fantastic Firmers Mid Thigh Shaper.”

Now, internet, I never intended to actually wear it. But that night, I was going out on the town with the girls. In New York City. My pride demanded that I make my lumpy body look as good as I could. So I reluctantly pulled the shaper out of the package and put it on – fully expecting it to be horribly uncomfortable.

But…it wasn’t. At all. And when I put my dress on over it? I admit, I was pleased with the result. I wore the shaper all night long, tramping around in the muggy awfulness of New York City during a heat wave, and never felt bothered by it. In fact, since it kept my sweaty thighs from chafing (I know, ick, but you know what I’m talking about, right?)  it could be argued that my Fantastic Firmer actually made me more comfortable.

Still, I didn’t think I’d ever wear it again. In fact, I balled it up in the bottom of my suitcase and forgot about it.

Until this dress arrived in the mail.

oh la la dress from Shabby Apple.It’s from Shabby Apple. And I’ve been drooling over it for months, imagining it to be the perfect dress for my figure.

But when I put it on? The post-Tori mass of squishiness that still inhabits my abdomen pooched out horribly.

Crushed, I decided I’d have to send it back.

But then I remembered the shaper wadded up in my suitcase and rushed upstairs to find it. And you know what? The Fantastic Firmer did its job fantastically. The pooch was nicely held in. The dress was again an A-line and not a B-line.

So I’m keeping the dress and the Fantastic Firmer. In fact, since I can’t afford liposuction, I think I’ll probably even buy some more.

In other words, I owe the manufacturers of shapewear an apology. Your products are indeed a boon to womankind. Thank you for making these magical garments for us (but you’ll never convince me to like pantyhose).

Oh, and just to be clear – no one is compensating me in any way for writing this post (well, other than the BlogHer swag).  That’s not what this blog is about. I’m just excited about all the wardrobe opportunities that have opened in front of me and thought you might like to know about it too.  Consider this a public service announcement, okay?

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