Right now, in a fancy pants ballroom in a posh hotel in my hometown, many of my high school classmates are gathering to reminisce, re-connect, and, I’m guessing, preen a little.
I am not among them.
High school was not a high point of my life. I wouldn’t relive those years for any amount of money in the world. But it wasn’t all awful. I have more than a few fond memories.
I’m a little bit sad that I’m not there.
So here, in no particular order, are ten things that have changed about me in the last 20 years.
1. I no longer have zits. But I do have wrinkles.
2. I no longer drive a shitty red car. I drive a pretty red car.
3. I no longer wish I could fast forward five years. I would, however, like to pause the clock.
4. I no longer have mall hair. I do have mom hair.
5. I no longer struggle with fashion. I do still have a hard time with current fashion trends, though (I already lived through the 80s, after all).
6. I no longer think my parents are dumb. But I’m pretty sure my daughter thinks I am (sometimes).
7. I no longer have to punch a time clock. But sometimes I wish I could clock out.
8. I no longer wonder what I’ll be when I grow up. But every once in a while I have to remind myself that I’m a grown up.
9. I no longer have to eat whatever my mom cooks. But I really wish she was close enough to cook for me.
10. I no longer have a curfew. But I do have a strict 11:30 p.m. bedtime.
And here’s one thing that hasn’t changed:
I’m still madly in love with the hunky guy who escorted me to prom.
(But I am glad that his waist is no longer smaller than mine).