Am I Destined To Be a Stage Mom?

“Mommy, I want to be on the dance team,” Tori announces from the back seat.

tori wears a tutu to garden“Really. Do you even know what a dance team is?”

“Yeah! You get costumes, and you dance at com-comp-compe-etitions, and there’s trophies! And you wear pretty costumes! And you dance! Mine will probably even be pink!”

“I see you were listening when I talked to your teacher. I’m glad you’re excited, but I think you might be a bit young for a dance team yet.”

Immediately her brow furrows with anger. “I’m not a baby. I’m BIG! I want to be on the dance team!”

I try hard not to roll my eyes.

“Let me talk to your daddy, okay?”


“I know. Oh, hey, look! There’s the ice cream store. Should we stop and get some?”

“Ye-eah!” she shouts.

And so the bullet is dodged.

But it’s true. Her teacher thinks she shows promise, and that she’d do great on their littlest dance team. She’d get to go to dance class twice a week, would get a pretty costume (and her own makeup kit) and would periodically perform at competitions in the area.

And I? Would find myself lounging at her dance studio twice a week, socializing with the other dance moms, and would spend my weekends accompanying her to local (ish) dance competitions.

I’d have to apply her makeup. Curl her hair. And cheer her on as she danced her way to victory.

I have no doubt that she’d be good at it. The joy she feels when dancing is obvious. And let’s face it – at that age, the cute factor has to weigh heavily.

But I’m not so sure I’m ready to be a stage mom.

I couldn’t tell you the difference between a shuffle step and a ball change. I have no idea how I’d curl her hair (she won’t even let me brush it). And I can’t honestly see myself pressuring her to practice her steps, Toddlers and Tiaras style.

That’s just not my thing.

I’m more of a sit on the couch with a book (or the internet) while she plays with her toys kind of mom.

But I don’t appear to have a bookworm for a daughter.

I’ve got a dancer.

And even if I’m not required to take up my role as stage mom this year, I will be some year soon.

Maybe I should start watching Toddlers and Tiaras.

Or even Honey Boo Boo.

I might just learn something.

God help me.


3 Comments on Am I Destined To Be a Stage Mom?

  1. Dawn Rutt
    June 18, 2013 at 1:56 pm (3 years ago)

    I had to look up Honey Boo Boo. And Lord help us. Oh…I am still speechless. That is more than a stage mom issue. That is a train collision.

    My daughter is working towards a gymnastics team. I’m not sure I’m ready for that, either. And make up?? I won’t even let her get her ears pierced. Time will tell, but I also find myself wishing for a little bookworm. :)

    • Amber
      June 26, 2013 at 10:41 pm (3 years ago)

      Yep, I’ve never watched a whole episode of Honey Boo Boo, but know enough to be horrified. I’m sure our dance studio wouldn’t be that way, but, well, I’m not quite ready for that!

  2. jessica
    September 24, 2013 at 2:27 pm (2 years ago)

    HI, my name is Jessica and I’m a producer at CBS working on a show about stage moms! Would love to talk to you and give you more info. Would you call or email me?

    Jessica Schutzman
    Producer – CBS Television


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