When I was a little girl, Valentine’s Day celebrations involved picking up a box of crappy little Valentine’s cards from the local dime store (dollar stores hadn’t been invented yet), and putting your classmates’ names on them. That was it.
I might have might deliberated over which card should go to which friend, but that’s as far as it went.
But now? Now there’s the internet. And crafting blogs. And f”ing Pinterest.
Now we moms are supposed to spend hours with our munchkins handcrafting cards personalized with special poems for each pint-sized valentine…even though they can’t read yet.
We’re supposed to go to town with our hot glue guns, and our sparkly puffy paint, and our heart-shaped rainbow buttons.
We’re supposed to add lace doilies from the Ukraine, peacock feathers from Mexico, and ribbons made from yeti hair.
And once our masterpieces are done? We’re supposed to attach gift bags (made exclusively of recyclable materials, of course) full of homemade chocolates and organic conversation hearts and origami doves made from extra virgin rice paper.
And we’re supposed to do it all with a smile.
A smile that’s not allowed to dim even one watt when we watch our precious bundles of joy crumple those exquisite pieces of art into little balls as they shove them into their crepe paper covered mailboxes.
But internet? This mommy doesn’t play that game. I’m not even sure if I own a hot glue gun.
When we set out for the store, I was determined to run in, get her one of those classic packages of Valentine crappiness and call it a day.
Little did I know that valentine cards for the elementary school set now get their own aisle.
Or that you can’t even buy a simple box of Valentines anymore.
They all have puffy stickers, or packages of sugary goo, or self-belly button-piercing mechanisms.
After vetoing a batch of Hello Kitty tattoos, I considered myself lucky to walk out with cards sporting only some Tinkerbell lollipop flair.
They don’t even have envelopes.
At least they didn’t until Tori looked up at me with her saucer-sized baby blues and asked, “why I can’t have envelopes for my cards, mommy? You always do.”
A few minutes later, I found myself trying to improvise with some pink construction paper and, ahem, a hot glue gun.
Which just goes to prove…there’s not much I won’t do for my smallest Valentine.
Love is not only blind…it’s stupid.
Happy Valentine’s Day!