Daddy’s Girl.

For the first three years of her life, Tori was practically attached to my hip.

It was the All Mommy show, all the time, from the moment she awoke in the morning to the last time she woke up from a bad dream in the middle of the night.

And at times, I wearied of it. In fact, I may have hidden in the bathroom a time (or 200) hoping that if she couldn’t find me, she’d ask daddy to get her juice/play with her/wipe her boogie/admire her poop.

More often than not, it failed to work. And I would emerge, just as tired and with the faint smell of toilet clinging to my clothes, to care for her every need.

But things are changing.

Brian and Tori at the parkNow, she wants her daddy. A lot.

Almost all the things that mommy used to do for her are now daddy’s territory. Juice-getting, car seat-fastening, fruit-cutting, bedtime book-reading…those things have all gone daddy’s way.

He’s the one she asks for at the end of a temper tantrum.

The one who she goes to first for a cuddle.

And I? Am left on the sidelines.

I try to be a good sport about it. To pretend that I enjoy the extra time to myself and that I’m not at all hurt when she chooses him over me.

This is, after all, exactly what he’s been dealing with for the last three years.

And sometimes it is nice. Sometimes I do enjoy being able to snatch an extra few minutes to read a book, catch up on my email, or, more likely, get another load of laundry in the wash.

But it stings.

I’m used to being first. To being the answer to all her problems. To being needed, 24/7.

And I’m not at all comfortable with this demotion.

I’ll get over it. And I’m sure there will come a time (probably soon) when I am again first in her heart.

But for now? It hurts, damn it.

And that’s the end of my whine.

Proudly linking up with Just Write at the Extraordinary Ordinary.

4 Comments on Daddy’s Girl.

  1. Heather
    May 15, 2012 at 11:36 pm (4 years ago)

    Oh, I had such a similar experience with my third child! He wanted no one but me, then, just when I thought I could take no more of it, he stopped needing ME so badly. It is a bit of a confusing feeling.

    Reply
  2. Jeanne Stryker
    May 16, 2012 at 12:20 am (4 years ago)

    Spending time together with your dad is really an awesome time. Before, when I was a kid, I was a dad’s girl so treasure the moments when we are together. Now, I miss my dad and I want to go back home.

    Reply
  3. Jessica
    May 16, 2012 at 9:30 am (4 years ago)

    Is your husband helping the situation by telling your daughter to go to you too? Sounds like he is trying to hog all the quality time and use your daughter as a wedge between you two. if that’s not the case, maybe you should start thinking about having another baby and make sure you have a boy this time, so he has someone to spend time with.

    A little girl needs to be with her mom.

    Reply
  4. Born27
    May 16, 2012 at 9:54 am (4 years ago)

    Sorry to hear that. As a mother it really hurts when we feel that our children is not close to us. I know that we are asking ourselves “What did I do?” or “Am I a good mom?”. But these questions are not supposedly questioned. As long as we know that we are taking good care of them, we are good moms. There are times that children, especially daughters are more of closer to their dads. Because they know that they are more safer when they are with their fathers. They know that fathers can protect them from strangers. And definitely they know that they can easily get what they want from their fathers.

    Reply

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