When I started my new job last week, I discovered that the former occupant of my desk had a thing for Ryan Gosling. A big thing (she had a pic of him taped to her computer).
So, of course, the conversation in my office somewhat quickly turned to celebrity crushes – the more gorgeous the specimen, the better.
But here’s the thing. I couldn’t think of any pretty men I’m particularly tempted by. At least not anymore.
I’ll admit that for many, many years, I thought Jon Bon Jovi was the most delicious thing since chocolate fudge brownies (shut up. Nobody ever said it was a dignified crush).
But these days? I’m not all that interested in the pretty faces of the world. I’d much rather have me a funny man.
Which is good, because that’s what I’ve got. A funny man. In fact, if it wasn’t for his ability to see the humorous side of things, he’d most likely have gone running many, many moons ago.
So here, for your reading pleasure, are 5 reasons a funny man is always better than a pretty one.
1. You’ll never have to worry about him spending more time in the bathroom than you (unless he’s pooping). I’m guessing it takes a good long while for Brad Pitt to get those long blonde locks perfectly tousled. But since my beauty routine has been shortened to 10 speed-applying minutes, there’s no way I’d have patience for that.
2. You get to be the only one worrying about the size of your butt. Along with those perfect hair follicles, your typical male celeb has a perfectly proportioned bod. But, since men are gravity’s victims just as much as women are, there’s no way that happens without a good deal of agonizing. Yuck.
3. You can’t keep a good sulk going because your comedian knows how to make you laugh – even when you don’t want to. A pretty one would probably just try to out-sulk you.
4. Your funny guy knows when to apply humor – and when nothing but ice cream will do. Do you think Tom Cruise ever comes home with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s when he knows Katie’s had a bad day? I doubt it. Funny men are (usually) also sweet men, and therefore know that chocolate is often the way to a woman’s heart.
5. You laugh every day – and everyone knows that laughter makes you live longer. Well, maybe not, but it will certainly make the days you live a whole lot happier. A gorgeous guy, on the other hand, will most likely just break your heart.
So, yeah. You can keep your Brad Pitts and Ryan Goslings. I’d rather giggle my life away than goggle any day.
How ’bout you?