When Reality and New Mommyhood Collide.

by Amber on September 15, 2011

So you have a new baby. You have a new baby and you’re thrilled. And exhausted. And head over heels in love. And exhausted. And giddy with joy.  And exhausted.

But mostly you’re just determined to be the very best mommy you can be. Come hell or high water, coffee-less mornings or gassy, vomiting babies, you. Will. Rock. This.

That’s great.  Really, it is.

tori in the jungle

Welcome to the jungle...err, Motherhood.

But you know what? There are going to be times when you feel like you don’t rock. Moments when you wonder what the hell you were thinking when you threw away those birth control pills. Days when you’re pretty sure that you suck at being a mom.

You might not be as wild about breastfeeding as you think you should be.

You might not be as patient as you think you should be.

Your house might be messier than you think it should be.

Your life might be way less organized than you thought it would be.

You might feel more conflicted about your about your decision to work or stay at home than you thought you would be.

You might cry. Or yell. Or completely lose your mind.

You might let your daughter watch an episode of Sesame Street so you can zone out for a little bit. Or force your son cry it out when you just can’t take it anymore.

And that might feel unforgivable.

But you know what? It’s okay. All of it. Because here’s the secret: you don’t have to be perfect.

Or even close. You just don’t.

Because, and here’s the other secret—no one is. No one’s perfect. And anyone who tries to tell you she is? Has her head so far up her butt she doesn’t know what the sun looks like anymore.

So throw out those parenting books. Lower your expectations. And just relax.

You can do this. You will do this. It won’t always be fun, but it will be worth it. I promise.

Mama’s Losin’ It

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

A Mother's Thoughts September 15, 2011 at 2:18 pm

This post is SO true!! You (I) may let my 6 year old daughter get in the morning for school so that there is less of a fight, I am right there, but not huvering and allowing her to learn. It adds to such a better morning for both of us!

Lynn

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Amber September 19, 2011 at 9:25 am

I’ll bet it would! Unfortunately, we’re still in the “If I don’t stand where I can see you you’re not going to do it stage”. Fun times.

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Ryan (The Woven Moments) September 15, 2011 at 4:22 pm

SO TRUE! People who think they are perfect (and I’ve met a few) are usually the ones who make it LOOK good. Not the ones who actually ARE good.

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Amber September 19, 2011 at 9:18 am

Either that or they have millions of dollars and live-in help.

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Namrata September 16, 2011 at 3:27 am

I just experienced a guilt free moment after reading your post. Thank you! I am a stay at home mom of a 15 month old who drives me nuts at times:-) I have been hooked to your site and I feel as if I am reading my heart. Your posts inspire me to dig out my journal burried below baby stuff waiting for the just perfect day to come out.

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Amber September 19, 2011 at 9:16 am

Then my mission was accomplished! Let go of the guilt!

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Funkidivagirl September 19, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Really, I wish more new parents would just relax. It really does all work out. Good advice.

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Amber September 20, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Thank you. Of course, I still have a hard time taking my own advice, sometimes.

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