The Shorthand of the Long-Married.

This afternoon, I had lunch with my husband. When the salads arrived, he put his napkin on his lap, picked up his fork and piled all his croutons on my plate.

Meanwhile, I was placing my cucumbers gingerly on the edge of my fork (not wanting to contaminate it with their nasty aftertaste) and dumping them in his salad.

And that, my friends, is the fantastic thing about being married for a long time.

Sure, new love is exciting and heady and full of surprises (or so they tell me. I don’t honestly remember). But long-term love? Has its own beauty.

He can tell just by looking at me in the morning whether it’s safe to talk or if he needs to just go downstairs and turn on the coffee.

I can tell just by the set of his shoulders whether it’s okay to interrupt his drawing or if doing so will bring down the Artist’s Wrath.

I know how many times he hits snooze in the morning (five). I also know how to make him stop it (a good kick works wonders).

He knows my cycle well enough to realize when to bring home chocolate and wine—and when to stay the hell out of my way.

He knows exactly how to piss me off. I know exactly where to push if I want to hurt his feelings.

He cleans the cat litter box. And all episodes of animal-related diarrhea.

I clean the bathrooms. And do the laundry when we run out of underwear.

We have our places on the couch. Our seats at the table. Our spots on the towel rack.

We have been known to have farting contests. And drinking contests. And who-can-ignore-the-dog-barking-the-longest contests.

It works. We work. It’s not always sexy, but it’s…good.

And every once in a while? We still surprise the hell out of each other.

And that, my friends, is the beauty of long-term love.

16 Comments on The Shorthand of the Long-Married.

  1. Rebecca
    September 8, 2011 at 10:18 pm (4 years ago)

    Kevin used to drive me nuts with the snooze button and one day I said to him, “Kevin, you hit the snooze at least five times and during that five times you are getting lots of interrupted sleep. I think the snooze gives you at least five minutes each time, why don’t you maximize the time you sleep by setting your alarm to go off at the time you actually get out of bed.??”

    He’s been sleeping for an extra THIRTY minutes every night and the alarm only goes off one time!

    • Amber
      September 10, 2011 at 4:54 pm (4 years ago)

      That’s brilliant! I don’t think it would work with mine, though. He’s pretty dang stubborn.

  2. Amanda C
    September 8, 2011 at 11:37 pm (4 years ago)

    I love this! My Brian and I are the same way, except I give him my onions, and he gives me his tomatoes (when he does eat salad). It’s amazing how in tune you become with each other when you’ve been married ten years and together for almost fifteen. :)

    • Amber
      September 10, 2011 at 4:53 pm (4 years ago)

      I know it. We’ve been together a total of 18 – more than half my life!

  3. Jen
    September 9, 2011 at 9:03 pm (4 years ago)

    This post is perfect. And totally reminds of me what I love about my marriage.

    And the song, Love!

    • Amber
      September 10, 2011 at 4:53 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you! I’ve always loved that song. It’s just so…true.

  4. Charlotte
    September 10, 2011 at 12:58 pm (4 years ago)

    I love this post. This is exactly what I hope to have when I meet someone worth meeting :) Thanks for sharing and providing me hope. *HUGS* and hope you’re enjoying your weekend!

    • Amber
      September 10, 2011 at 4:52 pm (4 years ago)

      You will. I firmly believe there’s somebody out there for everybody!

  5. A Mother's Thoughts
    September 11, 2011 at 1:54 pm (4 years ago)

    HaHa, love the song, love the post! I happen to think this all the time…would I really want to trade all this comfort with the spark of a new partner??? Really, they know what “the look” means, they know when we need to curl up in the fetal position and be left alone! It takes many years to accomplish the freedom to do whatever we want to and with each other.


    • Amber
      September 14, 2011 at 8:50 am (4 years ago)

      It does indeed. I can’t imagine having to pretend I don’t fart again…

  6. Tomekha
    September 12, 2011 at 3:32 pm (4 years ago)

    *wistful smile* Loved this post – sooo adorable…I hope to find this love and comfort for my own one day – for now I’m enjoying the thrills of new love. :)

    • Amber
      September 14, 2011 at 8:48 am (4 years ago)

      Enjoy those thrills and hold ’em close. They get hard to remember.

  7. Lady Jennie
    September 15, 2011 at 4:26 pm (4 years ago)

    You said it girl.

    • Amber
      September 19, 2011 at 9:17 am (4 years ago)

      :) I have to write those happy posts to make up for the kvetching.

  8. Linda M.
    March 28, 2012 at 7:12 pm (4 years ago)

    Once again, a great post! Thanks. I’m not ashamed to say, I’m a little jealous, but you two are so good together, I’m so happy for you!

    • Amber
      April 1, 2012 at 10:00 pm (4 years ago)

      Aww, thanks! I hope one of these days the four of us can get together. I’d love to meet your guy!


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