I don’t care who you are, bathing suit shopping sucks. I have been a size six and a size 16, and in all that time, I’ve not had one good bathing suit shopping experience.
When I was skinny, I had a hard time finding the right bikini. They were either too itty bitty or made my legs look too short, or I don’t even know what, but I found lots to complain about (and thinking back, I’d kind of like to smack that skinny bitch).
When I was at my fattest, well, shopping for a suit was so depressing that the goal was to find one that concealed as much as possible as fast as possible, and get the hell out of whatever flourescently-lit dressing room I was in.
Right now, I’m somewhere in between those two extremes. And the experience is just as painful.
So I decided to try to find one online. A one piece something. A bathing suit that neither looked like something an old lady would wear or made me feel like a brightly colored whale.
That’s when I found this one from ModCloth:
I knew I had to have it. It had that retro flair I love, the coverage I need and the million and one reviews all said it rocked. Unfortunately, it was 90 dollars. I have a hard time spending 90 dollars on anything, especially a swimsuit.
So I agonized. I dithered. I subjected myself to a couple of humiliating dressing room sessions. And then I bit the bullet and bought the damn suit.
I was afraid that when it arrived I’d be disappointed. That it wouldn’t live up to the hype. That I’d have to send it back and go again to the Kohls dressing room (side note: does anybody else find those “hygienic liners” disgusting? Because they gross me the hell out).
But when I walked out of the bathroom to model the suit, my husband’s jaw dropped.
It looks good. Really good. It makes the most of my curves and hides the bumps. It supports the girls and covers my booty. I feel kind of like a 50s starlet in it.
It is the holy grail of swimsuits. And you should all get one.
Disclosure: I have nothing to disclose. No one gave me anything to write this. I just thought you should all know about this lovely piece of fabulousness. So obviously, thoughts and opinions are mine and mine alone.