Found: The Perfect Bathing Suit (really).

I don’t care who you are, bathing suit shopping sucks. I have been a size six and a size 16, and in all that time, I’ve not had one good bathing suit shopping experience.

When I was skinny, I  had a hard time finding the right bikini. They were either too itty bitty or made my legs look too short, or I don’t even know what, but I found lots to complain about (and thinking back, I’d kind of like to smack that skinny bitch).

When I was at my fattest, well, shopping for a suit was so depressing that the goal was to find one that concealed as much as possible as fast as possible, and get the hell out of whatever flourescently-lit dressing room I was in.

Right now, I’m somewhere in between those two extremes. And the experience is just as painful.

So I decided to try to find one online. A one piece something. A bathing suit that neither looked like something an old lady would wear or made me feel like a brightly colored whale.

That’s when I found this one from ModCloth:

ModCloth purple suit

Simply Divine

I knew I had to have it. It had that retro flair I love, the coverage I need and the million and one reviews all said it rocked. Unfortunately, it was 90 dollars. I have a hard time spending 90 dollars on anything, especially a swimsuit.

So I agonized. I dithered. I subjected myself to a couple of humiliating dressing room sessions. And then I bit the bullet and bought the damn suit.

I was afraid that when it arrived I’d be disappointed. That it wouldn’t live up to the hype. That I’d have to send it back and go again to the Kohls dressing room (side note: does anybody else find those “hygienic liners” disgusting? Because they  gross me the hell out).

But when I walked out of the bathroom to model the suit, my husband’s jaw dropped.

It looks good. Really good.  It makes the most of my curves and hides the bumps. It supports the girls and covers my booty. I feel kind of like a 50s starlet in it.

It is the holy grail of swimsuits. And you should all get one.

Disclosure: I have nothing to disclose. No one gave me anything to write this. I just thought you should all know about this lovely piece of fabulousness. So obviously, thoughts and opinions are mine and mine alone.

26 Comments on Found: The Perfect Bathing Suit (really).

  1. Rebecca
    May 15, 2011 at 9:56 pm (5 years ago)

    For Joey’s wish trip, I’ve been thinking about going to the exercise wear and getting a spanx/spandex tank top and those shorts that are made of the same stuff that boys swim trunks are made of. Cause I got problems.

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 16, 2011 at 10:02 am (5 years ago)

      You gotta do what you gotta do to feel good!

      Reply
  2. Jenny
    May 15, 2011 at 10:01 pm (5 years ago)

    Wow. It does have awesome reviews! But, $90!

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 16, 2011 at 10:02 am (5 years ago)

      Sometimes you just have to close your eyes and hit “pay now.” After all, if you don’t actually fork over the card, it doesn’t count, right?

      Reply
  3. Erin
    May 15, 2011 at 10:35 pm (5 years ago)

    FABULOUS!! Do they make one in HUGE COW MATERNITY SIZE…or will I have to go to the fabric store and buy a bolt of something water friendly:)

    $90 is WAY reasonable for a GOOD bathing suit – I paid $125 for an amazing bathign suit after Middle Monkey was born…and I’m so cheap I won’t pay to get my eyebrows waxed:)

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 16, 2011 at 10:01 am (5 years ago)

      Snort. Not sure about huge cow size, but I am sure you look adorable, no matter how big the belly!

      Reply
  4. Allison
    May 15, 2011 at 11:23 pm (5 years ago)

    Oh my god, I need one!

    Reply
  5. Rebecca
    May 15, 2011 at 11:58 pm (5 years ago)

    That is crazy expensive, but if it looks good then it’s priceless. I usually fight off tears shopping for bathing suits. That style does look awesome.

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 16, 2011 at 10:00 am (5 years ago)

      I hate swimsuit shopping. 90 bucks is worth it to avoid that agony!

      Reply
  6. Andi
    May 16, 2011 at 9:25 am (5 years ago)

    I saw one almost exactly like this, same color and everything, but with some black ribbon in it and IN MATERNITY!!!

    Of course, it was only on ebay, $45 and only in size small. Which these DD’s up top are NOT.

    So, I’m jealous. And I’m going to buy the same suit as you when I have Peanut. Because we live half a country away from each other and no one would know, right?! Great find!

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 16, 2011 at 9:59 am (5 years ago)

      Yep, chances are we’ll never be wearing it in the same place at the same time, so it’s all good. Gotta love the pregnancy boobies!

      Reply
  7. alicia
    May 16, 2011 at 1:03 pm (5 years ago)

    Lucky you! I can’t seem to find one in my size. And this must be a popular one this year. I saw it at Target too. Probably not as nice. Good for you for being proactive.

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 17, 2011 at 9:02 am (5 years ago)

      I have a feeling that you’d look good in anything! I’ve got a vaca on the way, so I had to find something…

      Reply
  8. Jen
    May 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm (5 years ago)

    I too hate the swimsuit but I have had good lunch at Lands End. :)

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 17, 2011 at 9:01 am (5 years ago)

      Yeah, they have some pretty great stuff too! I am a fan.

      Reply
  9. Amber
    May 17, 2011 at 12:50 am (5 years ago)

    That is one hot ass bathing suit!

    And you can’t put a price tag on feeling good in a bathing suit. Money. Well. Spent.

    Girl, you better work (this summer)!

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 17, 2011 at 9:02 am (5 years ago)

      You better believe I will!

      Reply
  10. (FL) Girl with a New Life
    May 17, 2011 at 10:36 am (5 years ago)

    Totally cute. I adore retro bathing suits.

    And it goes without saying that bathing suit shopping is the worst.

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 17, 2011 at 9:53 pm (5 years ago)

      Jean shopping is a close second. On some days, it can be equally bad…almost.

      Reply
  11. Jenny
    May 17, 2011 at 1:59 pm (5 years ago)

    I refuse to wear a bathing suit. My mom and husband are always trying to get me into one though with the excuse of “you’re not allowed to go into pools with shorts!!” pfft… ALL LIES!!

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 17, 2011 at 9:52 pm (5 years ago)

      You’ve got to be comfortable first and foremost. If you need to wear shorts to feel good in the water, than so be it! Tell ’em to stuff it!

      Reply
  12. krista
    May 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm (5 years ago)

    I saw a suit like that last year and loved it, but I didn’t get it before it sold out. Maybe this year I will be a little faster. It’s so cute!

    Reply
    • Amber
      May 17, 2011 at 9:52 pm (5 years ago)

      Yeah retro seems to be a big thing in swimsuits right now. Not that I’m complaining!

      Reply
  13. Lady Jennie
    May 22, 2011 at 2:46 pm (5 years ago)

    Gorgeousness is right. Can I borrow 90 bucks?

    Reply
  14. Amber Huber
    December 9, 2011 at 4:07 am (4 years ago)

    Because we live half a country away from each other and no one would know, right?! You better believe I will! That is crazy expensive, but if it looks good then it’s priceless.

    Reply
    • Amber
      December 11, 2011 at 9:35 am (4 years ago)

      I wore mine so much this year, it bit the dust. All yours, until next spring, at least.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *