Too Young For Heartbreak.

by Amber on March 24, 2011

People leave. It’s a fact of life. They move away, or die, or get new jobs. Whatever the reason, people we care about fade out of our lives—and there’s not much we can do about it.

It’s a lesson everyone has to learn. But not at age two.

Nevertheless, my Tori’s learning it now. See, she has a favorite teacher at daycare. A woman she loves to the bottom of her little heart. In fact, she’s been known to call me Mimi (her teacher’s name), breaking my heart ever so slowly (but that’s another story).

Last week, Mimi quit. She’s gone. And Tori doesn’t understand why.

All she knows is that her Mimi isn’t there in the morning. She’s not there to read her books, and fix her hair, and rub her back as she’s going down for her nap. No matter where Tori looks, she’s just not there.

She’s been asking for her. All week. In the morning when we get to school, she looks up and says “Mimi here?” And I have to shake my head no.

Last night, I could tell she was trying to make sense of it. “Mimi h-house?” she asked. “Yes, honey. Mimi’s at her house.”

“Mimi here?”

“No, Mimi doesn’t live here.”

“No Mimi?” She asked sadly.

“No Mimi,” I said and hugged her tight.

Then last night she woke up crying, calling for Mimi. That hurts on a number of different levels (I’d rather she call for me, after all), but mostly I just feel sad for her.

Her little heart is breaking, and I can’t explain to her why. I can’t tell her that Mimi cared about her, but had to move on. She just thinks she’s been abandoned.

And that? Sucks.

I had hoped we’d at least get to her teenage years before her heart needed patching.

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Megan March 24, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Aww, thats so sad :*( I hope she feels better soon.
Megan recently posted..Wordless Wednesdays- Okay winter We heard you Bye bye!

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Amber March 25, 2011 at 10:54 am

Me too. Meeee too.

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Meagan March 24, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Have you tried explaining? She may not understand, but it’s funny how they remember and eventually ate able to make sense. Even if she doesn’t get it, consistently hearing the same answer maybe comforting to her.
Meagan recently posted..Writers with Moxie and Determination

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Amber March 25, 2011 at 10:54 am

No, I haven’t. I just figured it was pointless. I’ll give it a try!

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Megan March 25, 2011 at 9:06 am

I have to agree with the other Megans. This just sucks, and not only breaks her heart, but your’s along with it.

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Amber March 25, 2011 at 10:54 am

Yep. Mommyhood. Not for the weak of heart.

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erica March 25, 2011 at 9:27 am

First things, my name is not Megan.

Second… this is so heartbreaking. Poor thing, she just doesn’t understand…

On a side note, now that she’s gone, maybe you’ll take her place? WINNING!

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Amber March 25, 2011 at 10:53 am

Oh, but I thought everyone was an honorary Megan here today. It is excruciatingly sad. She didn’t even want to go today ( a first). I had to peel each and everyone of her fingers off the door jamb. Good times. I could go for some WINNING! though.

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SAM March 25, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Poor little girl! We have problems every time our girl switches to a new room and she did a couple of weeks ago. But at least they intermingle a little in the beginning so that helps.

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Amber March 25, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Yeah, that’s hard too. And to make it worse, new teachers are “trying out” for her room, so it’s constant change. Boo.

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Shell March 25, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Oh, that’s so heartbreaking! :(

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Amber March 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Yeah, we’re having a bad week over here. But at least it’s the weekend, right?

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Jennifer March 25, 2011 at 5:26 pm

That is so, so sad. Both of my kids are/were very attached to their daycare teachers. My daughter’s teacher even named one of her twins after my Baby Girl. Of course she left after she had her babies, but my daughter was old enough to understand, three almost four. My son LOVES his teacher, but is getting ready to move up to the “big kid class” (as he calls it). Because he is excited he isn’t upset like I was scared he was going to be.

I agree with the previous commenter. I would just keep explaining that Mimi loved her, but that she had to go to work somewhere else and she will eventually get it. And if possible you may want to see if you can get her information for babysitting or something. I don’t know her situation, but she may be able (and may want) to do something like that.
Jennifer recently posted..Welcome to the family!

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Amber March 27, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Hmmm, I wonder if I could get her to babysit. Brilliant idea!

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alicia March 27, 2011 at 10:54 am

Life sure throws some mean punches sometimes. And at such a young age. Ouch.

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Amber March 27, 2011 at 9:36 pm

She’s tough though (like her mom). She’ll be alright. It’s just going to be some rough going between here and there.

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Gail March 27, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Oh Lord…my time is coming. Our nanny Kelly is leaving in April. Not quite sure how that is going to go. And to make matters worse, my brother-in-law is in the process of dumping his girlfriend, who Sam ADORES. Twice the heartbreak.
Gail recently posted..I Could Totally Be Her

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Amber March 27, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Oof. I don’t envy you that. The good thing is, they’re young enough, they won’t remember in the long run, right?

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Lady Jennie March 30, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Oh shoot. That really does suck. We want our kids to have a home away from home experience in daycare, which means familiarity and kindness. Hope she recovers soon.

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Amber April 1, 2011 at 9:21 am

She’s already doing better. Still a little sad when I leave her, but I guess that’s to be expected. I wouldn’t want to leave me either. ;-)

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