Twelve Things My Husband Should Know By Now.

In a few short days, I will be celebrating my twelfth wedding anniversary. Twelve years, in my book, is a very long time. Long enough to get to know your spouse almost better than you know yourself.

But there are still things about me that seem to mystify my husband. So here, in no particular order, are twelve silly things he really should know by now.

1. Yes, the lack of coffee really does turn me into the Wicked Witch of the West. So the next time we run out? Don’t try to talk to me—just go get me some.

2. No, I can’t close that cupboard. I am lacking the chromosome that tells my arm to shut the cupboards and drawers (and sometimes even refrigerators) it just opened. It’s not my fault—it’s genetic.

3. Yes, making a decision really is that hard. I am a Libra. We are not good with decisions. I am predestined to waffle endlessly.

4. No, I don’t really take astrology seriously. Except when it suits my purposes. Then I do (see above).

5. Yes, I really do need to go to bed at 11:30. If I don’t, I am in danger of turning into a gremlin when my alarm goes off at 6:30.

6. No, I am not the same woman at 3 a.m. If I am awake in the wee hours of the morning (and it’s not because I’ve been having too good of a time to go to bed) I am whiny, crabby and prone to tears. Sorry about that.

7. Yes, I do want you to tell me I look beautiful when I ask you how I look.

8. No, I don’t want you to let me leave the house looking like a mismatched freak.

8.5. Yes, I know the two statements above sometimes put you in a Catch 22 situation. Sorry about that, too.

9. Yes, I do need to plan those imaginary vacations every month. Because if I’m persistent enough? And present enough “deals of the century?” Eventually you’re bound to give in (you can blame my mom for that one).

10. No, I can’t refrain from those periodic bouts of retail therapy. And yes, I probably will continue to try to hide the spoils from you (you can blame my mom for that one, too) ((love you, mom)).

11. Yes, birthday money does magically multiply by a factor of ten. But surely you know that by now.

12. No, I really can’t kill that spider. So, please, just do it for me?

13-100. I love you even when I’m at my most bitchy/obnoxious/ridiculous. You’re stuck with me, babe. Who else is going to put up with me?

11 Comments on Twelve Things My Husband Should Know By Now.

  1. liz
    October 20, 2010 at 7:23 pm (5 years ago)

    I can’t imagine staying up until 11:30! I’m usually out by 9:30. Shameful, isn’t it? :)

    Reply
  2. Amber
    October 21, 2010 at 12:39 am (5 years ago)

    Number 1 is me.

    Only I don’t drink coffee, I drink diet coke. If I don’t get my diet coke, I’m horrible.

    Reply
  3. Erin
    October 22, 2010 at 4:26 am (5 years ago)

    Love this – sounds like you guys have a great partnership! Congrats!

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 22, 2010 at 2:18 pm (5 years ago)

      Thank you!

      Reply
  4. Rebecca
    October 22, 2010 at 12:05 pm (5 years ago)

    This one “No, I can’t close that cupboard. I am lacking the chromosome that tells my arm to shut the cupboards and drawers (and sometimes even refrigerators) it just opened. It’s not my fault—it’s genetic.” is totally me! It drives my husband batty but for some reason, it just does not occur to me to shut closet doors, pantry doors, linen closet doors, cabinet doors, drawers, etc. . .Sometimes, I’ll shut it partly and sometimes, on a really good day, most of the way….but never all the way and I don’t even notice.

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 22, 2010 at 2:18 pm (5 years ago)

      Ha! Then I’m not the only one. Our husbands can commiserate.

      Reply
  5. MonicaFernaays
    October 22, 2010 at 12:32 pm (5 years ago)

    Congratulations on your 12 Anniversary…we’ll be celebrating our 12th in just a couple of weeks!! And, yes 12 years is a long time and truly something to be proud of!! Number 10 is most like me…even if it’s been a rough morning at the office…I find my way to Target at lunch!! :)

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 22, 2010 at 2:17 pm (5 years ago)

      Target is a beautiful place. I’m not sure what the world did before there was target.

      Reply
  6. Allison @ Alli n Son
    October 22, 2010 at 1:28 pm (5 years ago)

    My husband does the same with cupboard doors. And lights. Only he has no idea that he does it.

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 22, 2010 at 2:17 pm (5 years ago)

      I’m not sure which is better…if I didn’t know I did it, I could plead ignorance. As it is, I only remember when I look back and wonder “who left that cupboard open?”

      Reply
  7. Jen
    October 22, 2010 at 8:36 pm (5 years ago)

    This post was awesome.

    Reply

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