I will be the first to admit that my daughter is pretty scrumptious looking kid. I myself have nommed on her more than once.
But I’m allowed. After all, as her mom, I made those juicy looking thighs.
Unfortunately, her deliciousness has caught the attention of one of the little boys in her class. I’m not sure which one, since her teachers (smartly) won’t tell me, so let’s just call him Jaws.
Jaws struck for the first time early Tuesday afternoon. Apparently, they were tussling over a toy, and he decided that the only way to win the battle was to use his teeth. In fact, he chomped so hard that he actually drew blood.
And that’s when the trouble began.
I’m guessing Tori actually is made of sugar and spice, because he found her so delicious that he returned for seconds later that afternoon.
That’s right. He bit her twice on the same day—leaving her with matching teeth marks on both arms. But I didn’t get upset. I mean kids bite, right? That’s just the way it is.
Wednesday passed without incident. Then, on Thursday, he struck again. Just like his namesake, he lurked in the shadows until the moment was right, going for the kill when her back was turned.
And, I’ll admit, I started to get pissed. Once, okay. Twice, well, what can you do. But three bites? In three days? That’s. Not. Cool. But still, I kept my temper, telling myself that they were doing the best they could to defuse the situation.
Friday morning, Tori didn’t want to go to school. When I tried to leave, she clamped her legs around my waist and got a death grip on my hair. Her teacher literally had to peel her off of me. I left with the image of her screaming inconsolably in someone else’s arms burning across my brain.
But still, I remained optimistic. Surely nothing would go wrong that day. After all, everyone was on red alert. I continued on with my day relatively free of worry.
Then I got the call.
Jaws had come back for the kill—and his attack had left her bleeding. Again.
People, I saw red. Literally. My inner lioness roared to life, and I found myself wanting to inflict serious damage on that little boy (that lioness, she’s not very reasonable).
Instead, I called the doctor to make sure she didn’t need a rabies shot. And when my vision returned to normal? I bolted out of the office to see for myself what the hell was going on.
Unfortunately, her teacher is a very nice person. And I? Am not good with conflict. So instead of biting her face off, I (somewhat) calmly asked what happened.
Turns out, Jaws doesn’t bite anyone except for Tori. And he’s not only sneaky, he’s lightning fast. When he attacks, he darts across the room before anyone can stop him.
She told me it wouldn’t happen again. That one of the two teachers in Tori’s room is now acting as his handler, keeping him separated from Tori at all times.
But at this point, I have very little faith. I informed her that if and when he does it again, I want serious action taken. I told her I thought it would be a good idea to put one of them in a different room.
She said, “we’ll see.”
So I’m spending my weekend stewing. Wondering if I should purchase a muzzle for this kid. Hoping his mom is feeling as awful as I am.
I don’t know what to do (short of covering her in Tabasco sauce). So I’m turning to you, dear readers. Anybody have any ideas for me?