A Little Silence.

I love this blog, I do. But, for the first time, I find myself unable to commit words to screen.

I am feeling unsettled. Unsure. Restless. Worried enough to find myself still awake at 4:39 a.m, eyes red and burning, mind a whirl with an endless carousel of nagging “what-ifs’ and “if-onlys.”

I am not good company right now. I don’t have anything particularly funny, or witty, or insightful to say.

I have only the insecurities of a working mom to talk about. Only the loneliness of a homebody who lives too far from too many of those she loves to dwell on. Only the unshed tears of a woman who’s not sure how much farther she can stretch to share.

I need to rest. Recharge. Find my voice again.

And to do that, I need a little silence. So, I’m going to go quiet for a little while. I’m going to take¬† a short break to ground myself¬† and remind myself what matters.

I’ll be back. Very soon. Promise.

See you on the other side of 35…

16 Comments on A Little Silence.

    • Amber
      October 13, 2010 at 1:42 pm (5 years ago)

      Thanks! I completely shut down the computer – no twitter or anything – for four whole days. It felt great!

      Reply
  1. AmyBlam
    October 8, 2010 at 11:59 am (5 years ago)

    Seems like ALL my bloggy friends are a little bloggy burned out lately. Wonder what’s up with that?

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 13, 2010 at 1:41 pm (5 years ago)

      I dunno. Maybe it’s just the life cycle of blogging. You give it your all, you get burned out and back off, then you obsess again…or at least I do.

      Reply
  2. Alexandra
    October 8, 2010 at 7:34 pm (5 years ago)

    Amber, this is the BEST thing you can do.

    I took off for 2 wks, and it felt WONDERFUL.

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 13, 2010 at 1:41 pm (5 years ago)

      I think I’m going to keep a rather relaxed schedule for a few weeks (no posting every day) and see if I can get my feet under me again. Can’t stop posting altogether – it feels too weird.

      Reply
  3. Gail
    October 8, 2010 at 7:36 pm (5 years ago)

    I feel your pain. I understand the mommy guilt. I know what it is like to have those thoughts at 4am. I’ve taken many a break myself and I wish you the best on yours…we’ll be waiting when you come back and will welcome you with open arms!!

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 13, 2010 at 1:40 pm (5 years ago)

      Thanks. It’s good to know I’m not alone…

      Reply
  4. one cluttered brain
    October 8, 2010 at 8:03 pm (5 years ago)

    We’ll be here for you when you return girlfriend!
    WHEN you return funny lady.
    You cant’ leave FOREVER…the blog world would not be the same.
    Make yourself a cocktail, find a beach to relax on and a hunky cabana boy to serve you…
    and RELAX…..
    What? Oh..that’s my dream vacation…oh and Matthew M is massaging me as well…
    *sigh*
    hubby can tag along too if he wants…lol. BUT no kids.

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 13, 2010 at 1:39 pm (5 years ago)

      No beach, but I did go home and let my mom take care of the munchkin for a few days so I could sleep. Much better now!

      Reply
  5. Kelly
    October 8, 2010 at 9:32 pm (5 years ago)

    Sometimes we all need a break. I hope it leaves you rested and rejuvenated.

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 13, 2010 at 1:39 pm (5 years ago)

      I’m sort of back, but I don’t think I’m going to be up for an every day post for a bit yet…thanks for the well wishes!

      Reply
  6. BalancingMama (Julie)
    October 9, 2010 at 1:31 pm (5 years ago)

    Enjoy your break – good for you. I share your working mom insecurities. Add in some guilt too. And who knew being at home everyday (I work from home) could be so lonely?

    I love everything you write, so don’t be too hard on yourself! Will be looking for you when you come back.

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 13, 2010 at 1:37 pm (5 years ago)

      I think no matter what you do as a mom, you’re both guilt ridden and lonely. It’s one of those Catch 22 things…

      Reply
  7. CK
    October 10, 2010 at 3:12 am (5 years ago)

    Its so good to take a break now and then… Hope you find the rest and recharging spirit that you need.

    Reply
    • Amber
      October 13, 2010 at 1:36 pm (5 years ago)

      Well, I couldn’t actually stay away, so I’m back! It was good to step away, though.

      Reply

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