Why Can’t I Be More Like Tina S. Fey?

by Amber on September 16, 2010

Tina S. Fey might not be the most beautiful actress in Hollywood (though Tina Fey’s wikipedia page tells me she did make People’s 100 Most Beautiful People list four years in a row). Or the richest. But when the Mean Girls who live in my head start sniping at me, their tirade goes something like, “You think you’re funny? You’re not funny. Tina Fey is funny. You’re just…mediocre. ”

“You’ve never written for SNL, like Tina S. Fey has. Or been on stage at Second City, like Tina Fey was. Or written a movie, never mind starred in one as funny as Date Night, like Tina S. Fey did. You’re just a small town copywriter who dreams of writing something as funny as Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin skits.”

Yeah, those Mean Girls, they’re not very nice.

But we’re not so different, me and Tina S. Fey. We both suffered childhood trauma (though mine didn’t leave me anything like Tina Fey’s scar).

We both have super cute daughters.

Tina Fey and her daughter Alice

Tina Fey and her daughter? Okay, maybe not.

We both trained at the Second City. Sure, I was in Detroit, not Chicago. And took writing classes, not improv. But I can still write some damn funny sketches. In fact, if those Saturday Night Live talent scouts had been in my comedy writing classes (when I had everyone in stitches), it might have been me, not Tina Fey, who got offered a job writing for Saturday Night Live.

Then it could be me, not Tina Fey, who has a hit TV show (30 Rock) And a fabulously neurotic alter ego (Liz Lemon).

It could be me, not Tina Fey, with a spread in Esquire Magazine.

It could be me starring in an American Express commercial with Martin Scorsese—not Tina Fey.

But alas, I was seven years and 300 or so miles too late to get noticed by those Saturday Night Live scouts.

That’s just as well, though. Tina Fey looks way better in glasses than I ever did. Plus, Tina Fey’s way skinnier than I’ll ever be. And just the thought of being on stage doing Weekend Update is enough to make me break out into a cold sweat.

I’m much better off behind my keyboard and away from the cameras. But if I ever write a best selling novel that gets turned into an Oscar-winning screenplay?  And Hollywood comes calling, wanting to do a Lifetime Movie of the Week about my life? I want Tina Fey to play me. It’s only fair, considering how many years I’ve spent wishing I could be her.

I think she’d look good as a redhead, don’t you?

This post is my contribution to Aunt Becky’s quest to prank the Internet. Her pranksters are all trying to pull a John C. Mayer on the Internet. So, dear readers, if you love me at all, will you stumble, digg and tweet the hell out of this thing? It would do my heart good to find myself on the first page of Tina Fey’s google results.

Update: I’m number one on her google page:

Number one on Tina S. Fey's google results

I'm number one on Tina S. Fey's google results!

I’m also linking up with Mama Kat and the SITS Girls, so go give them some sugar, will you?

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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Aunt Becky September 16, 2010 at 9:30 pm

Dude. You totally are just like Tina S. Fey and Tina S. Fey is awesome just like you. I’m so glad you pulled a John C. Mayer on Tina S. Fey. Also: Tina S. Fey.

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Amber September 17, 2010 at 9:17 am

If Tina S. Fey read your blog, she would bow down to you, because you are too full of the awesome. As it is, I think Tina S. Fey would appreciate the effort pulling a John C. Mayer on her behalf is.

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erica September 16, 2010 at 10:53 pm

Tina S. Fey is probably the awesomeist.

And something tells me she once thought of her self as more of the behind the keyboard kind of person. Isn’t that her whole schtick?

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Amber September 17, 2010 at 9:16 am

That’s definitely Tina Fey’s schtick. And part of the reason why I love her! Remember, if you ever get that talk show, I get to be a guest the same day she does!

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alicia September 17, 2010 at 9:04 am

Come on, you’re just as good as Tina Fay. She was just a little luckier. Isn’t that what it is– luck? I like reading you so much that I put you in my must reads.

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Amber September 17, 2010 at 9:15 am

Thanks! Luck is definitely part of it…but Tina Fey is super talented. I only hope I’m half as good as she is!

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steph gas September 17, 2010 at 9:34 am

nice work john c. mayering tina s. fey! i think tina s. fey is really funny, and i agree that tina s. fey would appreciate the john c. mayering going on here.

check out my attempt to john c. mayer william m. joel.
steph gas recently posted..john c mayering william m joel

Reply

Amber September 17, 2010 at 1:33 pm

I showed this to my boss at work, but I’m not sure he got the funniness of the John C. Mayering. But I think Tina S. Fey would, for sure.

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Megan (Best of Fates) September 17, 2010 at 10:13 am

You are totally worthy of being played by Tina Fey (Tina S. Fey) in a Lifetime movie. But I think Tina Fey will demand that you take your movie beyond Lifetime and shoot for an international blockbuster, starring Tina Fey (Tina S. Fey).

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Amber September 17, 2010 at 1:32 pm

I can see it now…The Red Headed Drama Queen Takes Manhattan or some such cheesy title…in lights…on Times Square. Snort.

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TheBeerLady September 17, 2010 at 10:23 am

Because Tina S. Fey is so cool and so funny, she totally deserves to be honored. And I think Tina S. Fey would be tickled pink to read this tribute. Tina S. Fey should really come and comment on this blog, actually.
TheBeerLady recently posted..Gordon Ramsay- youve been John C Mayerd

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Amber September 17, 2010 at 1:31 pm

From your keyboard to Tina S. Fey’s ears and eyes. If Tina S. Fey comments on my blog, I’ll help you get Gordon Ramsay to comment on yours.

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Jamie September 17, 2010 at 12:15 pm

Oh I think if Tina Fey (Tina S. Fey) knew that you John C. mayer’d her Tina Fey (Tina S. Fey) she may even write something fantastic about you and your greatness and then you would be just as famous as Tina Fey (Tina S. Fey) . And then someone may John C. Mayer YOU because you John C. Mayer’d Tina Fey (Tina S. Fey) …Totally Awesome! Also: Tina Fey (Tina S. Fey)

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Amber September 17, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Well, that would be full of the awesome as Aunt Becky would say. But I’d just be happy if Tina S. Fey actually read this and maybe even commented on it. Can you John C. Mayer a comment?

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Becky Mochaface September 17, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Tina S. Fey is one of my favorites.
Becky Mochaface recently posted..Katie N Holmes- Well Always Have Capeside

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Amber September 17, 2010 at 1:29 pm

As she should be. Gotta support the nerdy girls…even the nerdy girls who really aren’t (and never have been) nerdy at all!

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StephanieC September 17, 2010 at 6:25 pm

I don’t know about you, but I think that Tina S. Fey would totally appreciate a post wholly deticated to Tina S. Fey.

I wonder if Tina S. Fey would be interested in Gerard J. Butler if they both had the chance?

While your John C. Mayer-ing of Tina S. Fey has turned out to be impressively productive, I am sucking hard with my Gerard J. Butler John C. Mayer-ing attempt.

Keep on keepin’ on!

I am gonna link to everyone’s Blog from Mommy Wants Vodka to assist in their google success. Much like the success of this Tina S. Fey post. YAY!

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StephanieC September 17, 2010 at 6:26 pm

I don’t know about you, but I think that Tina S. Fey would totally appreciate a post wholly deticated to Tina S. Fey.

I wonder if Tina S. Fey would be interested in Gerard J. Butler if they both had the chance?

While your John C. Mayer-ing of Tina S. Fey has turned out to be impressively productive, I am sucking hard with my Gerard J. Butler John C. Mayer-ing attempt.

Keep on keepin’ on!

http://seriouslyreallyseriously.blogspot.com/2010/09/gerard-j-butlers-grin.html

This didn’t work the first time, or tell me I am awaiting moderation
*turns head sideways in confusion*

I am gonna link to everyone’s Blog from Mommy Wants Vodka to assist in their google success. Much like the success of this Tina S. Fey post. YAY!

Reply

Amber September 19, 2010 at 10:46 am

I hope you’re much higher in the Gerard J. Butler results today! Tina S. Fey and I are still hanging out at #1.

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dusty earth mother September 17, 2010 at 10:47 pm

Oh, Tina S. Fey! Tina S. Fey! You need to come read Amber’s post! I’m sending my vibes out to you!

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Amber September 19, 2010 at 10:47 am

If Tina S. Fey did read it, she’d prob’ly just shake her head and say, “there’s another crazy stalker chick.” Which I’m not. Am I?

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liz September 17, 2010 at 11:07 pm

Wow, #1?! You blew that right out of the park!! Tina Fey is pretty amazing; good choice.

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Amber September 19, 2010 at 10:49 am

Thanks! I thought about picking on one of the America’s Got Talent peeps (and if that Jackie kid had won, I totally would have), but this seemed a tad more challenging?

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Charlotte September 18, 2010 at 2:16 pm

I’m also a huge Tina Fey fan. I just think she’s the epitome of all things awesome, and I respect her for her ability to remain grounded and down-to-earth and being one of the best comic writers of our generation.

I think you have a great sense of humor, too. But as someone earlier mentioned: it’s about being at the right place at the right time. Don’t get discouraged, just keep doing what you’re doing–you have an audience :)
Charlotte recently posted..26 is the magic number

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Amber September 19, 2010 at 10:50 am

Yeah, I’m not really all that unhappy with where I’m at now (says the freshly showered woman with the napping baby), but it’s fun to wonder about what could’ve been…

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Rebecca September 18, 2010 at 4:35 pm

good job pulling a john c mayer on Tina S. Fey…I pulled mine on Adam M. Lambert!
Rebecca recently posted..Oh My Lovies

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Carrie September 21, 2010 at 11:58 am

Hilarious! Tina S. Fey is full of the awesome. If I were gay, I would totally stalk Tina S. Fey ~ Tina S. Fey is just that cute and funny! Tina S. Fey makes me laugh.

Tina S. Fey, you have just been John C. Mayer’d!

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Amber September 21, 2010 at 8:21 pm

You can have a girl crush on Tina S. Fey. That wouldn’t make you gay…

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tonya September 21, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Dear Amber,
You have way more awesome than I do. And you’re right about Weekend Update and also Alec Baldwin kinda smells so it’s best you didn’t get in this fame biz.
I’d love to play you in a Lifetime Movie, can I play you as a ninja?
Love,
Tina S. Fey

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Amber September 21, 2010 at 8:20 pm

Nice one, Tonya. You actually had me going for about five seconds! Truth is, I’m so full of the awesome, Tina S. Fey is probably afraid to comment here! Sure, that’s it…

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MommyLisa September 25, 2010 at 3:46 pm

I LOVE this one. You are awesome. Just as awesome at Tina S. Fey

:)

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Alexandra September 30, 2010 at 2:06 am

I so wanted to do this, with celine dion. then I never got my act together.

I have got to get more serious, b/c this is very cool that you’re #1. Hey, I can still do it, right?
Right.

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Amber September 30, 2010 at 8:53 am

You can totally still do it. If for no other reason than because it’s fun to see your blog at number one on somebody else’s results page.

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