Head, Meet Butt.

I have a confession to make.

I’ve been taking myself far too seriously. I’ve been sucked into the numbers game. I’ve been getting jealous of other bloggers—of their stats, their follower counts, the number of comments after each post.

My inner dialog has sounded something like this: “Why  is she so big? How come she has so many followers? How come I suck so hard? What I am I doing wrooooong?”

In other words, I’ve had my head up pretty damn far up my butt. And it’s time to pull it out.

That’s not what I’m here for. That’s not why I do this. This is supposed to be my playground—the place I go to write whatever the hell I want. I spend all day trying to be the writer others want me to be—and quite frankly, I don’t always like her. I need this space to remind me of who I am and why it is I love to write.

So screw SEO. I’m done playing the numbers game.

I’m going back to my roots—to the days when no one read this but my mom and my cousin’s wife (hi, Kat!). I’m going to write for me.

I hope you’ll all stay with me. I love each and every one of you, and the community we’ve built. But I can’t put you first anymore—at least not right now.

I have to get the smell of butt out of my hair.

Note: I know this is whiny and self absorbed, and I’m sorry to subject you to it, but, hey. This is my space. If I want to get all emo and gaze into my navel, that’s my prerogative, right?

17 Comments on Head, Meet Butt.

  1. Kathleen Foulkrod
    September 22, 2010 at 11:21 pm (5 years ago)

    All I can say is MWAH! Eeeewwww…(LOL!)

    Reply
    • Amber
      September 23, 2010 at 10:30 am (5 years ago)

      MWAH back at ya! And I’ll give you a hug the next time I see you.

      Reply
  2. Phyllis
    September 22, 2010 at 11:32 pm (5 years ago)

    Amen sista!! Write for YOU and the rest will come! (At least that’s what I keep telling myself!) I’m digging w hat you’re dishing!

    Hugs!

    Reply
    • Amber
      September 23, 2010 at 10:29 am (5 years ago)

      I honestly don’t think the rest will ever come – but that’s okay. I don’t like to be the center of attention anyway.

      Reply
  3. Tricia
    September 22, 2010 at 11:48 pm (5 years ago)

    Right on, social media sister! I’m with you 100%. I’ve really been feeling like crap lately, whining about my poor, unread blog. But I’m on board: I’m going back to writing for ME and the people who DO read me.

    Reply
    • Amber
      September 23, 2010 at 10:28 am (5 years ago)

      You’ve got to make yourself happy first – otherwise, you might as well just be punching a time clock. I’ll always read you!

      Reply
  4. SaucyB
    September 23, 2010 at 8:35 am (5 years ago)

    Unless you’re really in this to make money (which I know you and I are not) blogging should be FUN. The moment it stops being fun it’s time to re-assess. Good for you.

    Amber, I think you’re a great writer and SEO be damned, I always enjoy what you have to say.

    Reply
    • Amber
      September 23, 2010 at 10:27 am (5 years ago)

      Thanks. I started thinking I had to prove something – what I don’t know – and got all angst-y. Last night, I decided not to write a post I wanted to write because “other people wouldn’t like it.” That was the last straw.

      Reply
  5. number one fan
    September 23, 2010 at 9:03 am (5 years ago)

    You’re correct! Don’t let the number game get to you. Does high readership mean quality? Look at Paris Hilton(don’t know why would want to anyway) she has thousands people following her all for the wrong reason, to see what she screws next or when is going back to jail.

    You have quality down-to-earth level that many sites do not have, not OMG! WOOT! WOOT! BFF JILL, YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS PRODUCT.

    If you write it, people will read it, I know I will.
    Here’s something that will make you feel beter.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o50_ZlMnjqY

    Reply
  6. liz
    September 23, 2010 at 4:33 pm (5 years ago)

    you go get all emo and do whatever amount of navel-gazing you’d like! it IS your space and you SHOULD do what you want with it!

    Reply
  7. Kelly
    September 25, 2010 at 12:11 am (5 years ago)

    Blogging for the numbers never works. I’m glad you have decided to stick out and just be yourself.

    Reply
  8. Chrissy MacCEO
    September 25, 2010 at 10:54 pm (5 years ago)

    This is a fabulous post – it’ s not whiny, or self-absorbed at all. It’s the truth, and it’s a trap that we all fall into at some point. I hope you don’t mind, but since I’ve been feeling SO much like this lately, I think I am going to link back to this post as inspiration for an upcoming entry on my blog.

    Reply
    • Amber
      September 26, 2010 at 8:51 pm (5 years ago)

      Link away! And thanks.

      Reply
  9. Andi O
    September 28, 2010 at 9:54 pm (5 years ago)

    I think your last line was one of the best last lines I’ve ever read. When you write your Great American Novel, can you end it with “I have to get the smell of butt out of my hair”? Pretty please?

    Reply
    • Amber
      September 29, 2010 at 1:45 pm (5 years ago)

      You got it. Now if only I could come up with the first line, I’m sure the thing would write itself, right?

      Reply
  10. Alexandra
    September 30, 2010 at 2:00 am (5 years ago)

    Absolutely. Because, secretly, I don’t get some of the big blogs. I don’t like them, I don’t understand their following. It’s like pple think they NEED to be there.

    Give me the original blogs I discovered and fellin love with back when I got on the internet: yours being one of them.

    We get so busy doing the “reciprocity” commenting, that we lose the fun.

    Reply
    • Amber
      September 30, 2010 at 8:53 am (5 years ago)

      Right. That’s what I’m saying. I’d rather just focus on my fellow tribe members…like you.

      Reply

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