Five Reasons I’m Not Trying Out For Project Mom.

The blogosphere is aflutter with talk of Project Mom—a new reality show that is going to follow the lives of (mom) bloggers. It seems like everybody wants in. But I would rather get my nails prized out with rusty spoons than let a reality TV camera near my house. And here are five reasons why.

My dog is socially retarded. He looks friendly enough. And most of the time, he is. But at the sight of a stranger in our house? He goes nuts. We’re talking foaming at the mouth, barking nonstop for five hours nuts. So, those cameramen wouldn’t be able to get any footage without the soundtrack of a rabid dog in the background.

My house is a pigsty. Which would, you know, not only be embarrassing, but also something of a hazard for the above mentioned camera crew. Someone would end up tripping over a stray laundry basket or dog bowl and then I’d be on the hook for some multi-million dollar lawsuit.

My self confidence doesn’t need the blow. Everyone knows the camera puts on ten pounds, right? Well, that would mean I look 30 pounds heavier than I ‘d like. And I don’t really want to see my televised self taunting my real self with the failure of our half-assed dieting attempts (did I mention I like to eat ice cream while watching TV?).

My blogging habits aren’t that exciting. These posts are usually written between the hours of 9 and 10 p.m., on the couch, while my cat tries to scramble on top of my keyboard and my husband tries not to look like he wants some attention (although he does). Try not to fall over yourselves with excitement at the thought.

My personality is too ripe for creative editing. Everyone knows that the producers of reality TV shows edit footage so that “characters” have identifiable personas. And mine? Probably wouldn’t be pretty. I’d most likely be the overly dramatic, self absorbed primadonna who everyone loves to hate (even though I’m a very nice person, in real life. Really.).

Plus, once the hate mail started flowing in, I’d probably have to check myself in to a nice mental hospital in the country to cope with the mental breakdown I’d have.

So, yeah. No reality TV show for me. But there are plenty of women out there who are going for it—and who’d be excellent on TV, like her and her and her and them. So you should lend them your support. I mean, really. How many more seasons of The Bachelor can we watch before our brains turn to goo?

30 Comments on Five Reasons I’m Not Trying Out For Project Mom.

  1. erica
    July 27, 2010 at 5:24 pm (6 years ago)

    After spending years behind the camera, there is NO way I would let a camera crew come in my house to film me and my family. Do you know how much crap they bring in? Do you know how much time is involved? Do you know how much they will mess up your house?

    Oh the other side, imagine watching yourself on TV while eating ice cream… bliss.

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 27, 2010 at 8:41 pm (6 years ago)

      I know. We did a TV shoot (for a commercial) at my friend’s house, and her place was trashed by the end of the day! Yuck. Maybe we’ll know someone on it and we can do cameo appearances…way less stress.

      Reply
  2. Tiffany@LattesAndLife
    July 27, 2010 at 5:24 pm (6 years ago)

    I’m with ya sister! My blog was featured in a newspaper article about local mom bloggers. They sent a photographer to the other ladies but not to me because I didn’t want to pose staring into my laptop, ignoring my family. I’m afraid this show is going to do the same thing…make it seem like mom bloggers are blogging at the expense of their families (and sadly, some are…..). But yeah, I have NO DESIRE whatsoever to be involved in this! I don’t have the need for fifteen minutes of fame, thankyouverymuch!

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 27, 2010 at 8:40 pm (6 years ago)

      Hopefully it won’t – I think it’s got two bloggers at the helm, so I’d think they’d be a little more sensitive to things like that. I know exactly what you mean, though, and i’m right there with you!

      Reply
  3. AmyBlam
    July 27, 2010 at 5:37 pm (6 years ago)

    Well jeez, when you put it like that, why did I apply? 😉
    Now I might have to clean and lose weight and stuff? Hmmm.

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 27, 2010 at 8:39 pm (6 years ago)

      Oh, you applied? I should have included you in my list! But you’ll be great, mess or no mess. If you get picked I’ll cheer you on from my couch!

      Reply
  4. Gail
    July 27, 2010 at 5:39 pm (6 years ago)

    I totally agree with #5. I would come across as the hypocritical, lazy bitch…who no one loves and everybody hates! I mean, not as bad at Kate Gosselin, but pretty close. And yes…in real life people love me. I think. I hope. I really hope.

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 27, 2010 at 8:38 pm (6 years ago)

      I’m sure you are just as lovely in real life as you are in blog land! But all they’d have to do is catch one of my tantrums on film and I’d be toast.

      Reply
  5. C @ Kid Things
    July 27, 2010 at 6:27 pm (6 years ago)

    I made a remark on twitter today, because nothing ever happens unless it’s remarked on twitter, that I wouldn’t want to be a part of Project Mom because I don’t anyone really wants to see me writing on my laptop still in my pajamas at 2 in the afternoon. Not pretty.

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 27, 2010 at 8:36 pm (6 years ago)

      Tell me about it. I’m usually in my PJs too, because I come home from work and put my comfies on. Yep. I’m a sexy beast….good thing my husband loves me!

      Reply
  6. Ann's Rants
    July 27, 2010 at 7:18 pm (6 years ago)

    Thanks so much for the shout-out.

    And uh, yeah.

    Your concerns are legitimate.

    Quaking in last seasons boots,
    Ann

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 27, 2010 at 8:35 pm (6 years ago)

      Nah, if you get picked, (and I hope you do), you’ll be fantastic. You’re way, way more interesting than me!

      Reply
  7. Andrea
    July 27, 2010 at 8:34 pm (6 years ago)

    I am with you on this one! You make excellent points. And I add to those that reality tv and the invasion of privacy may not be necessarily the best for children. Well, at least not for my kids. I can understand the draw for some moms. It can be very alluring. But for me personally, I just don’t think I would want to expose the kiddies to a parade of strangers in our home.

    Reply
  8. Alexandra
    July 27, 2010 at 9:29 pm (6 years ago)

    I’ve been down this road before…they will sensationalize and put everyone in the most outrageous and scandalous light.

    Our local network asked my then PPD group if they could interview someone who had survived PPD. They suggested me. Long story short, they open the segment on me saying “millions of mothers kill their children due to PPD, fortunately , this didn’t happen to little baby e.”, and then…bam… all the moms in our baby group dropped me like a hot potato.

    Thanks, reality TV.

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 28, 2010 at 8:54 am (6 years ago)

      Oh my goodness. That’s awful. I’m so sorry that happened to you!

      Reply
  9. Allison @ Alli 'n Son
    July 27, 2010 at 9:35 pm (6 years ago)

    There is almost no way I could be persuaded into doing a reality TV show. Unless they are throwing scads of money at me. And I mean SCADS.

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 28, 2010 at 8:53 am (6 years ago)

      For scads of money, I’d do just about anything. I’m not going to lie!

      Reply
      • moneybags
        July 28, 2010 at 10:43 am (6 years ago)

        Hmmmmm. Does it have to be US currency by any chance?

        Reply
    • Amber
      July 28, 2010 at 8:52 am (6 years ago)

      Well, it would probably still be entertaining, just in a completely different way.

      Reply
  10. one cluttered brain
    July 28, 2010 at 12:13 am (6 years ago)

    I found out WAY too late to apply to Project Mom.
    *sigh*
    Oh well.
    Another opportunity or a NBC director will see me soon.
    Right?
    😀

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 28, 2010 at 8:52 am (6 years ago)

      Absolutely. After all, your vlogs are masterpieces!

      Reply
  11. Janice (5 Minutes for Mom)
    July 28, 2010 at 1:55 am (6 years ago)

    You are a RIOT!!! Love this post!

    And really – when it comes to regular reality TV I am WITH you on a ton of that!

    BUT I really trust the women behind this project. I don’t see it as the same kind of stuff that is out there. They want it to be positive!

    My father was in TV all of my life and I had TV crews in our home all the time. So I definitely know the mess and the hassle. But I don’t mind it. It grew up with it.

    Besides – there are so many fantastic mom bloggers out there, I am sure Sue and I won’t make the cut anyway.

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 28, 2010 at 8:51 am (6 years ago)

      I know…I think it will turn out to be a good thing. Just not for me. But you guys are a natural fit, so I hope you do get chosen!

      Reply
  12. Dalia
    July 28, 2010 at 10:27 am (6 years ago)

    Yup, me either. But I totally admire those who are doing it. So awesome!

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 28, 2010 at 1:52 pm (6 years ago)

      It definitely takes some guts. More power to them!

      Reply
  13. Charlotte
    July 28, 2010 at 10:35 am (6 years ago)

    I don’t think I’d ever want a camera crew following me around either. I would have to venture to say that the other mommy bloggers auditioning for Project Mom are going to encounter all the same things. I have some guilty pleasures, yes, but there are some reality TV shows I’ll never understand. Things that happen in everyday life can’t be THAT exciting to look at on TV, right?

    That being said, I’m sure my brain has already turned to goo after this season’s Bachelorette. :p

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 28, 2010 at 1:51 pm (6 years ago)

      Have you ever seen that Hulu commercial with Alec Baldwin? That’s what I was thinking. I dare say my brain is mostly goo at this point!

      Reply
  14. dusty earth mother
    July 28, 2010 at 9:04 pm (6 years ago)

    There is no such thing as reality TV. The minute the camera is on you, all reality disappears and you become a different person. I should know, I was an actress once. You know, before the spawn arrived.

    Having said this, I’m still a little miffed that I missed the deadline. I’m so shallow.

    Reply
    • Amber
      July 29, 2010 at 9:33 am (6 years ago)

      Not shallow, just true to your calling. Once an actress, always an actress, right?

      Reply

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