Before my daughter was born, I swore that her arrival would not change my relationship with my husband. We would be just as romantic. Spend just as much time together.
We’d be the same AmberandBrian we had always been…but better.
Then Tori was born. And it was like a nuclear bomb had gone off in our family room, changing the familiar surroundings into something foreign—and turning our world upside down.
The dust has settled now (mostly). We’ve figured out how to manage this whole baby thing (mostly). And our relationship? Has leveled out (mostly). But it’s not the same. And here, for your reading pleasure, are ten ways it has most definitely changed.
Romantic late night dinners? Sure we have those. Of course, usually these late night noshes are spent silently shoveling food into our mouths as the baby screams (from teething pain, sickness or just plain crabbiness) upstairs. When the screeching gets too loud, Brian puts on some tunes—but it’s more likely to be Metallica than Frank Sinatra.
Couple workouts? Sure we do those. However, instead of spending hours working out together at the gym, we take turns sprinting after the baby, and wrestling her into her car seat, and keeping her still while the other person puts a clean diaper on her frantically wriggling bottom.
Long, leisurely walks? Well, not quite. How about short trots around the neighborhood, pushing the stroller as fast as we can pull the dog along, hoping he poops before she starts screaming.
Relaxing Sunday brunches? Only if McDonalds counts. Okay, we haven’t actually eaten Sunday brunch at McDonalds. But the two hour meals we used to begin our weekend afternoons with have become hurried affairs at Bob Evans—on the rare occasion we make the effort.
Saturday night movie dates? Absolutely. Only, except dressing up and heading to the theater, we strip down to our sweats and fire up the latest NetFlix arrival. And the end credits usually find us snoring on each other’s shoulders, not making out.
Knock down, drag ’em out screaming matches? Not so much. These days our battles are done in hissing whispers, with red-hot glares used to maximum effect. Because, after all, you can’t fight in front of the baby. And if you can’t have a good fight? The making up part isn’t so great either.
Boot knocking action? Yeah. Sure. It happens. You know, on those oh-so-frequent occasions when we’re actually both feeling rested, relaxed and amorous. Yeah. Aaaaaallllll the time (anyone want to buy a bridge from me?).
Still best friends? Definitely. I’ve got no snark here. Despite it all, I’m still glad to be married to him, and can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend time with. And after the year we’ve had? That’s saying something, people.
Now it’s your turn. How has a baby changed your relationship?