I made it 33 years without ever needing a single surgery. That’s a pretty good stretch. Then, in the space of just one year, I had three. That’s right. Three abdominal surgeries.
The first one doesn’t really count, I suppose. I mean, that was Tori’s fault, not mine. After all, she had to come out somehow! And the remembered effects of said surgery are all mixed up with the exhaustion and general confusion her homecoming caused, so I don’t really recall it being that bad.
Then there was that little procedure I had in February. The one that was supposed to end the problem. Yeah. That one kind of sucked, but the sheer novelty of getting to spend some serious time (guilt-free) in bed was enough to keep me from getting too crabby.
Except, you know what? It didn’t work. Which means, dear Internet, that I had to go under the knife yet again. And this time they had to take stuff out. And you know what? That hurts.
It’s four days later now, and I still feel like I’m eighty years old.
My whole abdomen hurts, of course (by the way, if one more person asks me if the original pain is gone, I’m going to hurt someone. I don’t know. Everything hurts, damn it). But worse is the dang shoulder pain. I feel like a small, very toothy creature is trying to gnaw its way out of the back of my neck.
Even worse than that? Is the total exhaustion. Yesterday, I did the dishes and then had to go lay down for a half hour. That’s how tired I was.
Did I mention this sucks?
Oh, and Tori’s getting not one, but three teeth. And because we weren’t already having a good enough time, she got her shots yesterday.
And Brian? Well, let’s just say he’s done playing nursemaid (now he’s just frigging crabby).
So, to review:
- I feel like I’ve been stomped on by the Jolly Green Giant
- My child is channeling her inner demon
- My husband is pouting like a five-year-old who’s been told his best friend has the chicken pox and can’t play
And you know what the kicker is?
I am using my vacation time to experience all this joy. That’s right. My dreams of an oceanside hiatus have been smashed into so much dust because after I return to work, I’ll have not a single vacation day left.
Aren’t I a lucky girl?
So now you all know why I’ve been so quiet this week. I don’t have anything nice to say. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to cursing the universe…silently (I don’t dare do it out loud. That universe is a real bitch, you know).
I’ll keep my mouth shut until I have something other than complaints to spew, promise.