Top Ten Signs You're Not Ready to Have Another Baby.

Now that Tori’s reaching the one year mark, the questions are beginning again. Whether it takes the form of a casual, “so, do you think you guys are going to have another,” or the much pushier, “you know, you really should think about giving her a sibling,” everyone wants to know.

When am I going to pop out another baby?

My first reaction is usually “none of your business, damn it.” But really? I have no idea. We’re certainly not ready yet. And here are ten reasons why:

 I still haven’t lost the last 15 pregnancy pounds. And yes, in my world, doing so is a necessity. I want to be a MILF, damn it.

Getting out the door with one kid is still a challenge. She fights me tooth and nail while I dress her. Then she screams and arches her back as I try to put her in her car seat. Then, when I finally get her harnessed in, she poops. And the cycle begins again. Add in the search for the diaper bag and my car keys, and we’re always at least 30 minutes late.

I’m not done sleeping yet. Once I got preggers, I never managed another eight solid hours of sleep. First it was the constant peeing. Then, the insomnia hit. Then the joints started aching. And then, of course, I had a newborn. So yeah, I’d like to appreciate my pillow for a while longer yet.

I haven’t forgotten how much being pregnant sucks. Sure it’s a magical time filled with beauty and wonder. It’s also nine months full of ever expanding body parts, constant exhaustion and  extreme indigestion.

Our love life hasn’t recovered from the first one yet. And that’s all I’m going to say about that (my mom reads this, yo).

I haven’t forgotten how much maternity  jeans suck. I never found a pair that would stay up. Ever. So I was constantly waddling around, holding on to the waistband, hoping to keep the crotch from ending up at my knees.

Formula is expensive. Sure, if I had another kid I’d try to breastfeed again, but given my resounding failure with Tori, I don’t hold out much hope. I’m looking forward to not having to spend 30 bucks a week on glorified powdered milk for a while (mama needs some new shoes).

I haven’t figured out the whole work/baby/life balance yet. I’m told it’s possible to stop feeling like you’re constantly behind in every aspect of your life, but I’m not sure I believe it. Until I figure it out (or find proof that everybody’s lying), I’m not ready to add more chaos to my household.

I really enjoy wine. And lattes. I missed both terribly while on the baby making journey, and I’m not quite ready to say good bye again.

I’m not ready to surrender to the minivan. In my mind, I still drive my little blue convertible. I don’t think my psyche could take the transition to family hauler.

So there they are. My top ten reasons I’m not ready to have another baby just yet. What about you guys? How did/will you know when you’re ready to try again?

Don’t forget to visit Oh Amanda for the other Top Ten entries!

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