A Look Back…

My baby’s going to be eleven months old tomorrow. Eleven months. That’s almost a whole year. To all you veteran mommies out there, that probably seems like no big thing, but to me? Well, the thought of how different everything was this time last year takes my breath away.
So tonight, for your reading pleasure, I’m re-posting an entry I wrote on March 5, 2009 (cue the Wayne’s World flashback music).

One Month To Go.
Yesterday marked the beginning of the one-month countdown to baby delivery time. That should seem pretty scary. And honestly, sometimes the thought, “Holy crap, I’m going to have a baby in less than a month,” crosses my mind, and my body’s flight or fight instinct takes over.

My heart pounds. My brain bleats in panic. And I start searching anywhere and everywhere for a responsible adult to take charge. Then I remember, I’m supposed to be the grown-up now.

Which pushes me straight into “I want my mommy” mode.

But she’s seven hours away. Of course, I know if I were to call her up and start howling in her ear, she’d panic and show up at my door in approximately 7.5 hours—faster if sheer force of will could propel her there.

Fortunately, so far, I’ve resisted the urge.

The good news is that these moods are the exception rather than the rule. More often, I find myself getting all warm and fuzzy at the thought of actually meeting my baby. I’ll sit in the big recliner we moved into her room and imagine curling up there with her in my arms. Or I’ll go through her closet, trying to picture an actual baby in those tiny doll clothes. I’ll play with her music box, re-fold her onesies, smooth the sheet in her crib…all with a goofy smile on my face.

I can’t wait to stroll around the neighborhood on warm spring evenings with her, my husband and our dog—our family finally complete.

I look forward to working in my garden, chattering to her as I show her the latest flowers.

Heck, I’m even excited to have company when I’m awake at 3:30 in the morning, marveling at how quiet the world is.

As my husband recently remarked, “Even though she’s not here yet, I can’t imagine our lives without her now.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

8 Comments on A Look Back…

  1. Sarah
    March 3, 2010 at 2:12 am (6 years ago)

    Lovely! My daughter will be one on March 14th. I've been thinking, a lot, about what things were like a year ago. It's wild that it passed so fast!

  2. Preggo
    March 3, 2010 at 2:36 am (6 years ago)

    Awwww. . I love your sappy schmaltz. Bjorn will be 9 months old tomorrow and I might see what my blogs were like way back when he was three months shy of here. Good job, grown-up adult. You're the best Mommmy she's ever had!!

  3. Kelly Jo @ Typing One Handed
    March 3, 2010 at 12:52 pm (6 years ago)

    Isn't it amazing how much life changes in just one short year? Thank you for sharing that beautiful post.
    It's time to start planning a birthday party mama!

  4. Travel & Dive Girl
    March 3, 2010 at 3:41 pm (6 years ago)

    What a beautiful post. You are lucky to have had a blog to document those thoughts. It will be nice when you can share them with your baby.

  5. Michael and Shelley
    March 3, 2010 at 6:51 pm (6 years ago)

    What a cute post! Thanks for sharing!

  6. Allison
    March 3, 2010 at 7:38 pm (6 years ago)

    That's so sweet. First birthdays are so special, for the baby and the momma. Enjoy it!

  7. Sara @ Domestically Challenged
    March 3, 2010 at 8:24 pm (6 years ago)

    what a beautiful tribute to her. This first year is both a blur and flies by so fast, yet is filled with beautiful moments.

  8. erica
    March 3, 2010 at 9:24 pm (6 years ago)

    I love the sappy posts…. Isn't it crazy to think you once dreamed of holding that little hand you now hold so dear… the same hand that is usually sticky and/or dirty from crawling on the floor?

    love it.


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