Top Ten Reasons Winter Blows.

It’s no secret that I hate winter. I know that I whine about it, ad nauseum. But have you ever wondered why I hate winter so much? Well, I’m here to tell you.

The whole soggy foot situation. I’m sure a real grown up remembers to put on her boots and thermal socks before leaving the house, but I have yet to reach that status. Instead, I’m forced to sit at my desk with the snow melting into ice-cold puddles in the bottom of my shoes. And when my feet are cold? There’s no hope for the rest of me.

The necessity of gloves. I am a rather scatter brained person. I forget things. Frequently. I lose them even more often than that. So keeping track of a pair of gloves for the entire winter? Impossible. I inevitably end up sporting horribly mismatched gloves, feeling like a fool every time I pull them on.

The cracked, bleeding hands. Because I do so often lose my hand coverings, I’m frequently out in the elements without them. Which leads to old lady hands with cracked, bleeding knuckles. Attractive, no?

The de-icing of the windshield. As a solidly entrenched member of suburbia, I do, in fact, own a two-car garage. Where, in theory, I could park my vehicle. But it is bursting at the seams with random crap, and so I still have to park in my driveway. Which also means I have to spend a solid ten minutes every morning chipping away at the ice and snow. Ten minutes which could otherwise be devoted to drinking coffee…or picking my nose.

The constant runny nose. Once the temperature drops below freezing, I tend to come down with a case of the sniffles that lasts until spring. By February, the redness of my nose gives me a striking resemblance to Rudolph, except without the benefit of having an actual light in there. Obviously, I’m quite the catch.

The snarling people. Have you ever noticed how much less happy people are when it’s cold and nasty and gray outside? No one holds doors, or smiles unless it’s absolutely necessary. And around the office? Well, let’s just say it’s a wonder no one’s come to blows yet.

The stupid ass drivers. Oh no! There’s a quarter inch of snow on the ground! Of course we should drive at 15 miles an hour, and begin stopping a half-mile before the light. Otherwise all those satan’s little helpers driving SUVs won’t have anything to swerve around at 55 miles an hour…right before landing in a ditch.

The necessity of a gym. When it’s warm outside, a world of fitness opportunities lies just outside your door. But when it’s cold? You’ve got to head to the gym, where you’re inevitably trapped on a treadmill next to that guy who just finished hacking up his left lung yesterday, and is working on his right one today.

Oh, the itching. Blame it on the cold weather. Or on the dry heat the furnace gives out. Or the sheer number of layers I’m forced to wear. But somewhere about the middle of January, my whole body starts itching, and no amount of moisturizer helps.

The bone chilling cold.
This is by far the worst part of winter. No matter how hard I try to stay warm, my core remains slightly icy, and five seconds after getting out of bed, I’m shivering again. Brrrrrrr.

So, yeah. Those are my top ten whines for today. How about you guys? Is there anything that bugs you about this season?

Also, if you’d like to read some more (probably far less whiny) Top Ten goodness, head over to Oh Amanda.

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