An Open Letter to Whoever Designed My Car.

Dear auto engineer type people,

When I bought my car three years ago, I thought I was buying a larger vehicle. After all, it has four doors, a station wagon-style rear hatch, and is called a “crossover.” This, to me, means big. Or if not big, at least family-sized.

After all, it isn’t fast. Or particularly stylish. Or particularly comfortable to ride in. So it should at least accomodate the average family, shouldn’t it?

But you know what? It doesn’t. I have one child.  One child who needs a car seat. And you know what doesn’t fit in this damn car? A car seat.

Back when I was pregnant, we had to return the first car seat we bought because it was too big for my car. We ended up purchasing a seat not because of its safety qualifications, but because of its size. Granted, it is a very nice seat (the Chicco Keyfit. Best infant car seat ever),  but that’s not the point. The point is, I couldn’t buy the seat I wanted because of your poor designing skills.

But I was willing to let that go. I mean, sure, when we go out as a family I have to ride in the passenger seat because to make her seat fit, we have to scoot the front seat allllllll the way forward, but it’s only temporary.

You know what I can’t forgive, though? The fact that not a single convertible car seat will fit in the rear-facing position. At least, not if anyone wants to sit in the front seat.

My daughter is only eight months old. And she’s dangerously close to outgrowing her current seat. It’s not going to last her the whole year. It’s just not.

But you can’t let a baby sit facing forward until she’s at least twelve months.

So, what am I supposed to do, oh genius designers of the Dodge Caliber? Not go anywhere for the next four months?

Lest you think my complaints have no basis, I’ll have you know that I spent several hours at various baby super stores today. I took just about every model they had (at least those that fit in a normal human’s budget) out to my car to test it out.

And you know what? None of them fit. Not one. So I drove two hours (there and back) with a cranky, constipated, teething baby, had my hair pulled, my shirt pulled down (in front of a salesperson) and my pants spit up on, for NOTHING.

You know what I could have been doing that would have been more enjoyable? Sitting on top of a nest of angry red ants while bees stung my eyes and spiders crawled up my nose.

So next time you go to design a car (specifically the front seats of said car), pause to think about your target audience for a moment. If your typical buyers are young families on a budget (who are not midgets), then make sure they’re functional for said families. Make sure you can fit a damn car seat in there.

Sincerely,

One pissed off mama.

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