In the last week alone, I’ve seen…well, I don’t even know how many articles pitting working moms against stay at home moms. The latest, just posted on Twitter by Mom Logic, was blistering in its criticism against moms who don’t work.
Others have come out heavily in favor of the stay at home, or “full time” mom, insinuating those that work (and send their children to day care), are doing their children a disservice.
I don’t get it, Internet. Why, after all this time, do we still have to have this fight? According to the issue of Time magazine that just hit the stands, The State of the American Woman, almost 40 percent of the women who work (and nearly half of us do) are the primary breadwinners.
That leads me to believe that for many moms, working is not an option. It’s a necessity. I know it is for my family.
But, by the same token, 51 percent of us believe it’s better for everyone if the mother stays home. And somehow, I doubt that every single woman in that 51 percent is, in fact, a stay at home mom.
So why do we have to criticize each other’s choices?
I mean, sure, to those of us who go to work every day, the life of a stay at home mom can seem kind of cushy at times. It’s easy to view their lives through those famous rose colored glasses, thinking that if only we had that luxury, we’d have it made.
But honestly? Stay at home moms work hard. Very hard. And kids? Usually don’t think to say thank you for managing their schedules, fixing them lunch, and doing their laundry. They’re not the best conversationalists, either.
Think about it. When was the last time, after spending a day caring for your kids, you felt rested, relaxed and totally on top of everything? I’m willing to bet that most of you find yourself exhausted at the end of the day (I know I do).
At least those of us who have careers get rewarded for our efforts—and a paycheck.
That’s not to say working moms have it made. Far from it. I can’t speak for other women, but I assure you not a day goes by that I’m not wracked with guilt. I worry about the things I’m missing out on. Wonder if she’ll think I’m gone too much. Even fear she won’t love me as much as she otherwise would.
And when I come home from work? The job of managing a household still remains. I just have less time to do it in. I have a wonderful husband who pulls his weight around the house, making the job easier, but not every woman is so lucky.
So what am I trying to say? Nothing revolutionary. Nothing that hasn’t been said a hundred times before. But saying it one more time can’t hurt.
Stop throwing hurtful words at each other. Stop judging each other. We’re all, each and every one of us, doing the best we can. Being a mom is a tough job, no matter how you look at it.
Can’t we all just get along?