Real Moms Don't Get Sick.

Back in the days B.T., a cold like the one I have now would have sent me straight to bed with a box of tissues and a pile of trashy magazines. I would have spent most of the weekend napping, going downstairs only to plop in front of the TV and whine loudly about how nasty I felt.

My husband would have made me grilled cheese sandwiches and scrambled eggs, and gone to the store to pick up plenty of chicken noodle soup and, of course, ice cream to soothe my poor, tortured throat. I would have watched hours and hours of HGTV, augmented by as much What Not To Wear as Brian could stand.

It would have been heavenly (as heavenly as being sick with a nasty cold can be).

Not anymore. Now, I’m Mom, and as such, can’t leave my responsibilities in a heap at the front door. Especially since this sickness I have was brought to us by the eighteen pound sack of pestilence that is our ridiculously cute daughter. Meaning Brian was battling his own army of snot monsters.

So instead of lounging in bed all day, I found myself trying to find ways to entertain my increasingly mobile six-month-old that allowed me to spend as much time as possible laying with my head on the floor.

Instead of watching HGTV, I played patty cake, and fly the baby, and itsy bitsy spider and the like, until my already sore throat gave out altogether. In fact, I only turned the TV on once while she was awake—and then felt so guilty about letting her watch it that I couldn’t even enjoy the brief respite.

Oh, and did I mention that my coughing scares her? Yeah. Granted, it’s a fairly deep, nasty hack, but I never thought it was frightening. But apparently, it is, so every time I fed her I desperately sucked a cough drop, so as to avoid the startled screams that giving in to the tickle in my throat evokes.

It was (and continues to be) not fun, Internet.

There’s only one answer. I can never get sick again. Anybody know where I can find some super immunity boosting chemicals? Or a bubble to live in?

No? Darn.

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