It’s time for Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop again. This week, I’m imagining a conversation between these two people:
B: How can you not see what I’m talking about? It’s right here. In front of your face!
A: So there’s a weed. So what?
B: So what? So our lawn is being taken over, that’s what!
A: I don’t see what the problem is. It’s green. It’s not crunchy when you step on it. It’s doing the same job grass does.
B: Do you know how hard I’ve worked to get some decent grass in this yard?
A: And you’ve done a very good job. But Mother Nature, she has plans of her own.
B: We’re going to be the laughingstock of the neighborhood!
A: (Bends down and plucks weed). There. No more weed. Feel better?
B: Argh! No! You didn’t get it by the root! Now it’s just going to come back and, and spread!
A: (Sighs) Fine. You can go to Lowe’s and buy the $50 bag of weed killer. But if I ever see you out here with scissors trimming uneven spots, I’m going to stage an intervention.
B: But sometimes it just looks so sloppy…
A: Scissors. Equal. Intervention. End of story.
B: Fine… But don’t come crying to me when the Homeowner’s Association comes after us for bringing down the tenor of the neighborhood.
A: Don’t worry. I won’t.
Author’s Note (covering ass): No, this conversation didn’t actually happen. But my husband does have an unhealthy obsession with the lawn, so it could…