One Day Down, a Lifetime To Go.

We were released from the hospital yesterday—and it was not a moment too soon. If one more person had come barging into my room without knocking, I may have started scratching eyeballs out.

I know they all meant well, but every time I pulled my boob out to feed Tori, the parade began. And I don’t know how most new moms feel, but I, for one, am not comfortable with public nudity. Especially when I’m already stressed, overtired, and feeling ridiculously inadequate.

Although you’d be amazed at how quickly you get used to strangers manhandling your boobs when you’re trying to learn to breastfeed…

So anyway, after a flurry of paperwork-signing, they let us leave the hospital with our defenseless little girl in our arms to begin a life of unsupervised parenthood. And it was all downhill from there.

We knew we were in trouble when Kermit, (our socially retarded mutt) growled at the baby upon being introduced to her.

Then we discovered the cats had peed in the crib.

And then I realized that there was a reason I was on all that pain medication—and my earlier decision to try to do without it was a Really Bad Idea.

And then there was the constipation that suddenly descended. I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that the pain was far worse than anything else I’ve experienced throughout this whole having a baby thing. My howls sent a very panicked Brian racing to the drugstore in search of something, anything to make it stop.

And then (yes, another “and then”) Victoria decided to really wake up for the first time, and be ridiculously fussy for the next several years.

So, yeah, it was a bad day.

Bad enough that Brian had to order a shattered, sobbing me to bed at 10 p.m.

But you know what? Today is going a lot better (everyone cross their fingers and knock on wood). She’s finally starting to get the hang of this nursing thing (don’t you dare uncross those digits), and after six hours of sleep, I feel almost human.

And the sun’s out. Was the sun out yesterday? I don’t even know.

And, thanks to my awesome coworkers and their impromptu food delivery service,  lunch and dinner is ready and waiting.

It’s going to be okay. I’m sure of it—something I wouldn’t have said 24 hours ago. Although, someone’s probably going to have to remind me I said that in the not to distant future…

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