The things I miss the most.

There’s one thing (well probably lots of things) you truly can’t appreciate until you’re actually pregnant. Namely, how many of your favorite things are about to get put on the no-no list.

And it’s not like the no-no list you put yourself on when you’re dieting. The one where you say, no, you can’t have that chocolate cake. Or that double fudge latte. Or that hot dog dripping with cheese. Because those? Are negotiable.

If that “no, I couldn’t” becomes “well, maybe just one,” you’re not hurting anyone but yourself. Well, yourself and your waistline.

But when you’re pregnant? Those no-nos become You Damn Well Better Nots. Because you are hurting someone else. Someone too small to fight back. And let’s face it, my child is going to have enough to deal with without help from any potentially toxic substances that I ingest.

So, on to my list of the things I miss the most.

Drugs. Not the illegal variety. But all the ones I routinely rely on to keep my snot-filled, creaky body functioning. Right now, just about all I can have is Tylenol and Benadryl. And if you ask my three-day old headache, it’ll tell you Tylenol isn’t worth the trouble it takes to swallow it.

Caffeine. All caffeine, but coffee in particular. I’ve been drinking coffee since I was five (ask my mom if you don’t believe me), so doing without is an unusual kind of torture. Sure, they say you can have one cup a day, but when you’re dealing with an addiction as strong as mine, that’s just enough to crank up the cravings to a screaming pitch. Not fun.

Lunchmeat. I looove deli meats. I eat it on sandwiches, cut up in salads, even just rolled up for a quick little snack. It’s one of the 5 essential food groups in my house. Or it was. Now, if I want a piece of turkey, I’ve got to nuke the heck out of it first. Can you say ewww?

Wine. Alcohol as a whole is a no no, but the only adult beverage I really miss is wine. I like everything about wine. I enjoy shopping for it – reading all the little descriptors at the store to see what sounds tasty. I love the hollow popping sound the bottle makes when the cork comes out. And of course, drinking it. There’s just something so relaxing about curling up with a nice glass of wine after a long, hard day. Grape juice in a wine glass? Not the same thing.

But, I have to admit – there’s one huge plus to being pregnant. Well, there are a lot of them, but one I’m loving the most right now. Are you ready for it?

It’s elastic waistbands. This is one time in your life when there’s absolutely no shame in wearing nice, comfy pants. All the time. They even make special lycra bands you can use to hold your jeans up when you can’t button them anymore. Get that? It’s okay not to button your jeans.

It’s paradise. Really it is.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *